Anything you can do I can do worse

In a battle of ineptitude, managers Manuel matched up to see who could make the worst move in last night's 10-9 slugfest. Phillies manager Charlie cast the die with the curious decision to sacrifice rookie pitcher R.J. Swindle of the 55 MPH curveball fame. David Wright greeted him with a home run to left. The Mets would eventually push the lead to 10-1 against Swindle, and then since they didn't learn from some sort of calamity last year (people keep telling me about it, I have no idea what they're talking about) they took their foot off the gas and coasted home.

Mets manager Jerry, perhaps disgusted with his team's lack of effort in the later innings, decided to show them and brought in Tony Armas Jr. Hey, maybe there was a reason he was available! After Pedro pitched an effective 5 1/3 innings, Jerry brought Armas in for some mop up duty. He promptly gave the Phillies a glimmer of hope, allowing them to climb with 10-5. In marched Aaron Heilman, he of the short attention span and the uncanny knack to give up home runs. 1 1/3 innings later, Heilman turned it over to that motherfucker Billy Wagner at 10-7.

Not to be outdone, amidst the comeback Charlie removed his best player, secondbaseman Chase Utley for no good reason. Maybe he was afraid a monster left-handed bat in the lineup might have been able to push the tying run across the plate and then his fat ass would have to wait through extra innings to get to the buffet. For good measure, Jerry got ejected in the bottom of the 7th arguing a disputed home run call (replay anyone?), perhaps worried that Charlie might eat his way through the clubhouse before he got there.

Anyway, in the 9th that motherfucker Wagner came on and promptly allowed the first two batters to reach base. A strikeout and a fly out and Wagner found himself facing the tying run with two outs in the bottom of the 9th. Even though I wasn't watching a shiver of deja vu ran down my spine. Sure enough, a sharply hit single to center followed by a throwing error from Beltran allowed two runners to score and the tying run to reach scoring position, bringing up Sunday's hero (well, until the 12th) Jason Werth. This time that motherfucker Wagner induced a flyout, ending the game, and preventing what can only be presumed to be a crushing loss.

As always, I will try to see the bright side to the team nearly blowing a 9 run lead, so let's go with Jose Reyes. The man had a monster game and looks to be rounding into 2006 form when he was the spark plug that made the offense go. A big shout out to Endy Chavez whose 3 hits, 2 RBI and 2 runs were instrumental in building the early lead.