Sometimes you just have to unretire

Every few months I like to pretend I'm blogger. I'm not saying this is one of those months, but I came across a story so incredible I felt the need to share it with you all, my faithful reader.

The Knicks have asked Isiah Thomas to serve as a team consultant. Yup, it's so incredible it all has to be a hyperlink. Let's focus on the meat of the article:

Thomas told ESPN.com Friday that he accepted a more formal and unique consulting position with his former employer, where he will help Knicks general manager Donnie Walsh make decisions on draft picks, trades and personnel decisions.

Thomas' drafting wasn't actually so bad. He oversaw the selection of Trevor Ariza, Channing Frye, David Lee, Renaldo Balkman, Mardy Collins, and Wilson Chandler. He also swung a trade for the draft rights to Nate Robinson. Taken as a whole, it is not a terrible draft haul, given that Lee is a legitimate 20/10 guy, and Ariza, Frye, Chandler, and even Robinson are all useful pieces on winning teams.

That brings us to trades, and this is where Thomas just cannot control himself. It started innocently enough with a swap of bench players, sending Clarence Weatherspoon to the Houston Rockets for Moochie Norris and John Amaechi. Unfortunately for Knicks fans everywhere, trades turned out to be like crack for Thomas, and he wanted to get higher and higher each time. His next move was to trade for Stephon Marbury, sending along Antonio McDyess, some other players, and draft picks for the mercurial Suns guard. When I say "some draft picks" I mean, "Utah drafted with the Knicks pick this year because Phoenix got so many of them in the Marbury trade they couldn't possibly sign them all so they traded some away."

Yep, SIX YEARS after the trade, the Knicks were still getting fucked by it. For their troubles, the Knicks got one trip to the playoffs, a four game sweep at the hands of the New Jersey Nets. That trade alone would be enough to put Thomas in the Pantheon of worst GMs of all time, but there was more, so much more:

• He traded for Tim Thomas, because he needed to pair a shoot-first small forward with his shoot- first point guard.


• He traded for Jamal Crawford because he needed to pair a shoot-first shooting guard with his shoot-first point guard and his shoot-first small forward.


• He traded for Quentin Richardson, because he needed to pair a shoot-first small forward with his shoot-first point guard, his shoot-first small forward, and his shoot-first shooting guard.


• He traded Tim Thomas to the Bulls for Eddy Curry because he had too many shoot-first small forwards and he needed an overweight 7-footer with a heart problem who can't score, rebound, or defend.


• He traded for Jalen Rose because he felt somewhat empty with only one shoot-first small forward.


• He traded for Steve Francis because he needed to pair a shoot-first point guard with his shoot-first point guard.


• He traded Steve Francis and Channing Frye for Zach Randolph because with all the skill on the perimeter, he obviously needed a 20/10 guy who needs the offense to run through himself to be effective.

And those are just the trades! He also loved throwing huge contracts towards middling players like Jared Jeffries and Jerome James. This brings us to the personnel decisions. Just for fun, we'll list the head coaches during Isiah's tenure along with their records. Now obviously, some of this has to do with the poor talent on the team, but if there is ever an award for finding the worst possible match between coach and players, I am guessing they will call it the Isiah:

• Don Chaney (15-24)
• Herb Williams (17-27)
• Lenny Wilkens (40-41)
• Larry Brown (23-59)
• Isiah Thomas (56-108)

Thomas' run of ineptitude included "being the subject of a sexual harassment lawsuit brought by a former team employee that cost the organization $11.6 million" but he still "remained close to [new team president Donnie] Walsh and Madison Square Garden chairman James Dolan." Maybe that's why Walsh traded away first round draft pick Jordan Hill, the rights to swap 2011 first round picks, and the 2012 first round pick to Houston for Tracy McGrady and cap space! It was a deal that had Thomas' greasy fingerprints all over it.