Knicks management is...odd

As a fan of the Mets you would think I am used to teams I root for making bizarre personnel decisions, but I feel like this warrants mentioning. Last week the Knicks landed Carmelo Anthony in a blockbuster trade. Among the finer details of the move they sent a couple of corpses occupying the end of their bench to the Timberwolves for Corey Brewer. Brewer is a marginal offensive player, but he can defend and on the Knicks anyone who can make a stop is a luxury.

The Knicks, being the Knicks, decided to cut Brewer so they can sign the recently cut Jared Jeffries. Jeffries is, to put it delicately, terrible. He already played 3+ years with the team and one of the things he proved during that time is that he is nowhere near as good as oh say, Corey Brewer. To top it all off they also signed the newly available Derrick Brown who is the exact same player as Jeffries except that he is superior in every way. Somewhere Isiah Thomas is nodding approvingly and wondering if the team can still throw $100 million to Stephon Marbury.

My analysis of the trade you don't care about

The Knicks were able to swing a blockbuster trade last night, preemptively landing the marquee 2011 NBA free agent Carmelo Anthony. It cost them a boatload in players and draft picks, blowing up the core of the team that was sitting in 6th place in the Eastern Conference. Keep in mind that 6th place is light years ahead of where they have been finishing thanks to the disastrous Isiah Thomas regime.

The details of the trade you can find on ESPN.com. I will not lie, the team got a lot older and lost some depth. They are now entirely dependant on Amar'e Stoudemire's knees staying healthy and Carmelo Anthony staying interested. With the new collective bargaining agreement likely to severely limit teams' budgets going forward, the team will be tied to their two stars and whatever cheap players they can pick off the scrap heap.

Fuck it, I love the trade! They only gave up THREE draft picks to get Carmelo Anthony? Only ONE of them is a first-rounder? Thomas must be hopping mad right now! He would have offered at least the rest of the Knicks' first round picks for the decade. What are they going to use them for anyway? They have a superstar with a fragile psyche and another with chronically bad knees. DYNASTY!

Sometimes you just have to unretire

Every few months I like to pretend I'm blogger. I'm not saying this is one of those months, but I came across a story so incredible I felt the need to share it with you all, my faithful reader.

The Knicks have asked Isiah Thomas to serve as a team consultant. Yup, it's so incredible it all has to be a hyperlink. Let's focus on the meat of the article:

Thomas told ESPN.com Friday that he accepted a more formal and unique consulting position with his former employer, where he will help Knicks general manager Donnie Walsh make decisions on draft picks, trades and personnel decisions.

Thomas' drafting wasn't actually so bad. He oversaw the selection of Trevor Ariza, Channing Frye, David Lee, Renaldo Balkman, Mardy Collins, and Wilson Chandler. He also swung a trade for the draft rights to Nate Robinson. Taken as a whole, it is not a terrible draft haul, given that Lee is a legitimate 20/10 guy, and Ariza, Frye, Chandler, and even Robinson are all useful pieces on winning teams.

That brings us to trades, and this is where Thomas just cannot control himself. It started innocently enough with a swap of bench players, sending Clarence Weatherspoon to the Houston Rockets for Moochie Norris and John Amaechi. Unfortunately for Knicks fans everywhere, trades turned out to be like crack for Thomas, and he wanted to get higher and higher each time. His next move was to trade for Stephon Marbury, sending along Antonio McDyess, some other players, and draft picks for the mercurial Suns guard. When I say "some draft picks" I mean, "Utah drafted with the Knicks pick this year because Phoenix got so many of them in the Marbury trade they couldn't possibly sign them all so they traded some away."

Yep, SIX YEARS after the trade, the Knicks were still getting fucked by it. For their troubles, the Knicks got one trip to the playoffs, a four game sweep at the hands of the New Jersey Nets. That trade alone would be enough to put Thomas in the Pantheon of worst GMs of all time, but there was more, so much more:

• He traded for Tim Thomas, because he needed to pair a shoot-first small forward with his shoot- first point guard.


• He traded for Jamal Crawford because he needed to pair a shoot-first shooting guard with his shoot-first point guard and his shoot-first small forward.


• He traded for Quentin Richardson, because he needed to pair a shoot-first small forward with his shoot-first point guard, his shoot-first small forward, and his shoot-first shooting guard.


• He traded Tim Thomas to the Bulls for Eddy Curry because he had too many shoot-first small forwards and he needed an overweight 7-footer with a heart problem who can't score, rebound, or defend.


• He traded for Jalen Rose because he felt somewhat empty with only one shoot-first small forward.


• He traded for Steve Francis because he needed to pair a shoot-first point guard with his shoot-first point guard.


• He traded Steve Francis and Channing Frye for Zach Randolph because with all the skill on the perimeter, he obviously needed a 20/10 guy who needs the offense to run through himself to be effective.

And those are just the trades! He also loved throwing huge contracts towards middling players like Jared Jeffries and Jerome James. This brings us to the personnel decisions. Just for fun, we'll list the head coaches during Isiah's tenure along with their records. Now obviously, some of this has to do with the poor talent on the team, but if there is ever an award for finding the worst possible match between coach and players, I am guessing they will call it the Isiah:

• Don Chaney (15-24)
• Herb Williams (17-27)
• Lenny Wilkens (40-41)
• Larry Brown (23-59)
• Isiah Thomas (56-108)

Thomas' run of ineptitude included "being the subject of a sexual harassment lawsuit brought by a former team employee that cost the organization $11.6 million" but he still "remained close to [new team president Donnie] Walsh and Madison Square Garden chairman James Dolan." Maybe that's why Walsh traded away first round draft pick Jordan Hill, the rights to swap 2011 first round picks, and the 2012 first round pick to Houston for Tracy McGrady and cap space! It was a deal that had Thomas' greasy fingerprints all over it.

This is why Duke sucks

Lots going on in the sports world last night. Lebron James dropped 52 amidst a triple double on the Knicks. That was the second most points ever scored in a triple double, and the first time a team had given up 50 points to an opponent in consecutive games in 40 something years. The Knicks let Kobe Bryant run rampant for 61, the most ever points scored in Madison Square Garden, in their previous game.

Wake Forest lost to Miami in college hoops. The #6 team in the nation has now dropped three out of their last four games. Of course that one win was over Duke, who was also in action last night at 10th ranked Clemson. How did that go? Hahahahahaha! That gives me a chance to revisit one of my all time favorite YouTube posts. Enjoy! With speakers if you're at work, cause they use some naughty language in this one.

Fixing the Knicks in 5 easy steps

Let's do this Mastercard commercial style:

Firing Zach Randolph: $48,000,000
Firing Eddy Curry: $31,501,269
Firing Stephon Marbury: $21,937,500
Firing Jerome James: $12,800,000
Firing Isiah Thomas: Terms not disclosed
Being able to make eye contact with an NBA fan when you say your favorite team is the Knicks: FUCKING PRICELESS!!!!

Now THAT'S pathetic!

As time expired last night, Nate Robinson hit a last second 3 pointer from half court that should have been utterly meaningless in yet another Knicks blowout loss, but held significance for one very important reason. Thanks to the Celtics magnanimous decision to just dribble out the shot clock and take a violation in the closing seconds of a 48 point blowout, Robinson was able to hit the 3 and draw the Knicks within 45. Those 3 points gave the Knicks a total of 59, or one point more than the all time franchise low. Since taking over the franchise a few seasons ago, Isiah Thomas has managed to assemble a cast of talent so embarrassingly bad, the team's supposed superstar threatened to go public with personal allegations against the coach if he was not given more playing time.

Players were obviously bored and disinterested on the bench, yawning on camera during a nationally broadcast embarrassment. The broadcast team openly speculated whether or not the 104-59 drubbing would be the final straw in Thomas' ignominious career. The announcers concluded that since the Knicks had to turn around and play again the next night, Thomas would be given one more chance. As a once and hopefully future Knicks fan, I can only hope that Thomas will finally be fired for his chronic ineptitude.

Isiah Thomas has always been a keen talent evaluator. With the Knicks, his shrewd picks of Channing Frye, Trevor Ariza, David Lee, Nate Robinson, Mardy Collins, and Ronaldo Blackman would be a solid foundation of role players, character guys, and energy off the bench. Of course, Thomas traded Ariza for the epic failure that used to be Steve Francis' career, and Channing Frye for Zach Randolph, who is just as likely to get you a dog-fighting scandal as he is a 20 point, 10 rebound season. Charles Barkley tried defending Thomas by saying it is not his fault that his players have quit on him. I am sorry, but when you surround yourself with the likes of Stephon Marbury, a loser at every stop on his NBA career, Randolph, Jerome James who gets $60 million to occasionally play garbage time minutes, etc., you are going to have your team quit on you. Thomas has been nothing short of a disgrace to this once proud franchise and needs to be fired immediately, with a heartfelt apology sent to every remaining season ticket holder for the atrocity they have been presented.