Weekly round up

So plenty of interesting stories have been ignored by yours truly this week. For starters, Plaxico Burress has been told to just go home. It is a sad end to the Giants career for the man who may well be the most talented receiver to ever strap on the pads for Big Blue. It turns out that he is kind of a douche bag. From what I understand had Burress just been your average clubgoer, he probably would have been able to get away without jail time. Since Mayor Bloomberg decided to make an example out of him, it will be almost impossible for Burress to avoid the slammer. On the bright side, it will be much harder for Plax to shoot himself in the leg on the inside.

Quickly, in a story that absolutely no one cares about, the Houston Comets of the WNBA folded earlier this week. The Comets won the first four WNBA championships, led by Cynthia Cooper who won the league's first two MVPs. The WNBA will probably survive the current economic crisis, but it is a testament to how much trouble any pro league that is not the NFL, MLB, or NBA faces right now.

In another story no one cares about, I saw something in a hockey game that I've never ever seen before. Ryan Malone of the Tampa Bay Lightning blocked a shot from a Philadelphia defenseman and sprung himself on a breakaway in the waning seconds of a tie game. As he made his move a hockey glove came flying across the screen. My jaw dropped, which created something of a mess as I was brushing my teeth at the time. An NHL player had actually thrown a piece of equipment at a guy on a breakaway. That is an automatic penalty shot, giving Malone a free chance at essentially ending the game right then and there. Of course the goalie bailed out his player, Malone ended up taking a penalty in overtime that led to the game-winning power play goal, but still, HE THREW HIS FUCKING GLOVE!

And finally, in somewhat sad and amusing news, the talented but troubled Sean Avery, former Vogue intern, managed to talk his way right out of the league. Avery has been suspended indefinitely after musing before Tuesday night's game against Calgary about Flames' star Dion Phaneuf's relationship with Avery's ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert. In a pre-game interview Avery walked over to a group of reporters and said, "I'm really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight." Awesome. Avery will probably get another shot in the NHL someday because he is just too talented not to, but he managed to cost himself millions along the way. Good for you, Sean, good for you.

Now, to make this all worthwhile...Elisha Cuthbert!