Speaking of sloppy seconds

Everyone's favorite toothless misogynist is coming to Hartford! Desperate to regain some of the toughness, heart, and venereal disease lost when Sean Avery signed a monster contract with the Dallas Stars in the offseason, the reeling New York Rangers signed the troubled winger to a minor league contract. Look for Avery to spend a week or two in Hartford to shake some of the rust off and learn to really appreciate how great it is to be in New York. Hurry out to New England's Rising Star for the chance to shout insults and taunts at 1/10th the price of NHL tickets. Throwing things at him is also highly recommended if you don't mind an armed escort out of the building. And just so we remember, here is the inspiration for Avery's tirade that earned him a one-way ticket from Dallas to Hartford, Miss Elisha Cuthbert!