Friday wrapup

Last night featured marquee several matchups. The headliner was this season's first bout between Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin that I did didn't watch because it wasn't on TV. The under card was led by Kobe Bryant versus LeBron James that I didn't watch because I didn't care. So what did I watch? Well, the first two hour episode of the 24 premier which sucked because 24 sucks these days. Don't worry, I'll keep watching because I'm stupid. Also, I watched one of the least hot matchups you'll ever seen in women's tennis, Justine Henin taking out 27 seed Alisa Kleybanova in 3 sets. Wait was that mean? That was mean. The tennis was beautiful until the hulking Kleybanova wilted in the Australian heat and humidity and got blown off the court by the sleeker Henin. Hey Justine, wear a longer skirt next time, your massive black cock is showing!



Also blown off the court last night was the men's 7 seed Andy Roddick. I assume he was blown off the court given that he's married to swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker. On the court he served to a crisp 74% first service percentage en route to a tidy 4 set win over pesky Spaniard Felciano Lopez.

Weekend wrap up

Maria Sharapova won the Australian Open. I didn't watch. Novak Djokovic won on the men's side. I didn't watch that either. I caught some of the replay on ESPN2 the next afternoon but it was clear after the first set that surprising Frenchman Jo Wilfried Tsonga just ran out of gas after an inspired first set.

On Saturday the UConn men surprised number 7 Indiana ending their 29 game home winning streak with a short-handed squad. Starter Jerome Dyson and top reserve Doug Wiggins were suspended for the game, rumor has it for alcohol related incidents. The team really rallied around each other, used their quicker guards to get Indiana's star freshman Eric Gordon in foul trouble, and actually made their free throws down the stretch. All in all it was as gutsy a win as the team has had in a few seasons. Coach Jim Calhoun is looking for people to provide Dyson and Wiggins with alcohol for tonight's game against Louisville.

Sunday night saw the UConn women beat their second top ranked team in a week with a dominating win at number 15 Notre Dame. Superstar freshman Maya Moore was unstoppable early on, scoring UConn's first 15 points. This forced the Fighting Irish to adjust their defense to stop Moore. Unfortunately for the home crowd, while Notre Dame effectively prevented Moore from scoring another point, they let the rest of the Huskies run rampant. It's a shame the injury bug tore down this team as I think they had a real shot to unseat defending national champions Tennessee. UConn's Tina Charles is probably the most dominant post player in the country, but it may not be enough to stop Candace Parker. It will be fun to watch though!

Speaking of fun, check out Ilya Kovalchuk's reaction when fellow Russian Evgeni Nabakov flat out robs him during yesterday's NHL All Star game. The game was seen by literally dozens of people on the Versus network. It was played in Atlanta home of Kovalchuk's Thrashers, making the reaction all the sweeter.

Yeah the Patriots are all right

But Roger Federer is dominant. Coming into last night's semifinal matchup against Novak Djokovic Federer had won 2 straight Australian Opens and reached 10 (!) straight Grand Slam Finals winning all but the 2 French Opens in that span. Federer had won 19 straight matches overall down under until Djokovic clipped him last night.

Federer losing just does not happen. The difference between what Federer has done and what the Patriots have done, for example, is the Patriots made news by winning every game they played. Well this is expected of Roger. He only really gets mentioned when he loses. Especially when the loss comes to someone other than world #2 Rafael Nadal. Djokovic has solidly entrenched himself as the third best player in the world, but to this point he is probably best known for his spot on imitations of fellow competitors Maria Sharapova and Rafael Nadal. Since no one watches tennis but me, you'll just have to trust me on this one.



Speaking of the statuesque Sharapova, take off your pants and break out the lube because at 9:30 this evening (all times Eastern) she will take on Ana Ivanovic in the Finals.

In case you missed it

And you did.  Last night I came home from the movies and turned on the tennis.  That would be the Australian Open for you Cro Magnons who feel sports begin and end with the NFL.  James Blake, one of the few top Americans on the tour was meekly getting blasted off the court by likable Frenchman Sebastian Grosjean.  Blake was down two sets to one and down two breaks 4-1 in the fourth set.  It looked like it was going to be a  quick beer and an early night for me.  While I was fucking around with my mini bottle of Patron silver (did I say beer?) Blake broke Grosjean, showing a little life.  As the ice cube melted in my tequila, Blake held serve with ease and broke back to get on serve.  The fourth set surprisingly went to a tie breaker which Blake won 7-5 after falling behind again.  Well shit.  Blake had never beaten Grosjean, and won the first five set match of his career in 11 tries at last year's US Open.  Let's just say things were not exactly going his way when he was down 2 sets.  But the elder Frenchman just didn't have the legs in the fifth set and Blake won going away.

Up next on the main court was world #1, and quite possibly the greatest tennis player of all time, Roger Federer against an unseeded Serbian Janko Tipsarevic.  I watched the beginning of the match, which was around 1 AM my time, and while it was on serve, it looked like Federer was predictably playing nearly perfect tennis.  Imagine my surprise 9 hours later when I awoke to live coverage of the incredibly entertaining Hewitt versus Baghdatis match.  We'll get to that.  The reason ESPN 2 was still live in Australia was Federer was taken to 10-8 in the fifth set.  This is a guy who dominates people.  A typical bad set for Federer means he only broke his opponent once.  This Tipsarevic character nearly beat him!  Hopefully this is a sign that there may be some young players out there besides Spaniard Rafael Nadal who can actually challenge Federer.  Hopefully Tipsarevic isn't a douche bag.  I mean for an athlete.

Since the match went so long, Lleyton Hewitt and Marcos Baghdatis did not take the court until nearly midnight.  I lazily ambled downstairs and made some coffee while I called my mom to talk to her about the tennis she missed.  Federer almost losing is always news, and with the match starting after 1 in the morning, there's always a chance the crazy bi...er lovely lady was actually up in time to catch the end of it.  She had not heard, and I was regaling her with tales of the entertaining Hewitt and Baghdatis match.  Marcos fell apart at the end of the third set, serving for a two sets to one lead at 5-3 but losing 7 straight games to not only drop the third set fall behind two breaks of serve in the fourth set.  Oh well, it's always entertaining.  While I'm on the phone with mom Baghdatis pulls out a service game down 0-4, 0-40. No sweat for Hewitt who merely needs to hold serve to close out the match which he does to 5-1.  Baghdatis holds and the match is on Hewitt's racket.  And he's broken.  Baghdatis holds and the match is on Hewitt's racket.  And he's broken.  With the pressure of an epic collapse suddenly on Hewitt's shoulders, the fourth set goes to a tiebreaker.  Surprising even himself, Baghadatis wins the fourth set tiebreaker and as the clock winds past 4 AM in Australia, the adopted favorite from Cyprus found himself in an unlikely fifth set with the local favorite.  The two traded heavy blows before Baghdatis' legs abandoned him and Hewitt took it in fifth set.

Just an amazing series of matches.  I may not be refined enough to consistently keep my penis hidden at weddings, but at least I have better taste in sports than most Americans.  Fuck football.  This shit was genuinely exciting, and likely that none of its competitors was on steroids, as opposed to whatever percentage of the NFL consists of all players not named Eli Manning.