Ooo that's gotta hurt!

It is interesting to me. For years I always rooted for the Pittsburgh Penguins because when they gutted my beloved Hartford Whalers the Penguins were the beneficiaries. Hate the team, not the players, so they held a soft spot in my heart. Then came the rivalry with the fighting Ovechkins. Then came Matt Cooke. Then I picked San Jose to win in ESPN's streak for the cash. It was settled, I was going to root for the Sharks to beat the Penguins! In retrospect my life is boring, sad, and empty. Then again, I have a blog so I guess I already proved that. Back to the show!

First...elation! The Sharks lead 2-1 and Logan Couture has the puck at center ice with time winding down and the Penguins' net vacated for an extra attacker.

Next...disappointment! Couture shot it wide! Man, it stings just a little bit every time you miss a chance to ice a game like that. Fortunately the depleted Penguins do not have any stars like Malkin or Crosby left. They have to roll with the likes of Jordan Staal and Tyler Kennedy.



Aw, FUCK! That sure looks a whole lot like Jordan Staal celebrating Tyler Kennedy's tying goal with 40 seconds left. Sure as shit, the game goes into overtime. Patrick Marleau...breakaway to end it...SAVE by Fleury! Dammit, this one seems destined to end in a shootout.

Unless...scramble in front...Patrick Marleau!!!



Suck on that Matt Cooke!!!!

Goalie fight????

GOALIE FIGHT!!!! Wait, am I starting to repeat myself? FUGO favorite Brent Johnson was at it again as Islanders enforcer Michael Haley decided to step up for his glass-jawed fallen goaltender and take on "Iron" Brent in a fight-marred blowout victory over the Penguins. It actually makes a little bit of sense. With the trade of backup Dwayne Roloson and the loss Rick "Paper Mache" DiPietro, the Islanders could not afford to sacrifice another goaltender to Johnson's iron fists.



In other news, the Peter Forsberg comeback tour kicked off last night and our hero valiantly allowed the spotlight to shine on Columbus' Rick Nash in a 3-1 loss to the Blue Jackets. Not wanting to give us too much too early, Forsberg held himself to a single shot in just under 18 minutes of ice time. That did not prevent Avalanche coach Joe Sacco from gushing, "He was arguably our best player tonight." Well obviously...

Jordan Staal is doing well

Last night after just missing a spectacular game-winning wrap-around in the waning seconds of regulation, Jordan Staal scored an unspectacular game-winner in the waning seconds of overtime. Seriously, Jonathan Quick is going to puke when he watches that on film. I mean I assume he will be exceedingly hung over or drunk because hockey players drink a lot.

Not pictured in the video below were the two ace chances he had to end the game earlier in overtime. You might notice that Staal played a rather prominent role in this game. With no timetable set for Sydney Crosby's return and Evgeni Malkin likely to miss the rest of the season, it falls on Staals shoulders to help maintain the team's success, and maybe even earn the owners some much-needed playoff revenue.

Adding a verb to the hockey lexicon

A mere three weeks ago, Philly upset New Jersey and Boston upset Buffalo, setting the NHL up for its dream scenario of the Pittsburgh Crosbys facing off against the Washington Ovechkins with a spot in the Stanley Cup finals at stake. Unfortunately, commissioner Gary Bettman forgot to forward the memo to Montreal goalie Jaroslav Halak. Ovechkin claims he saw Halak's hand shake after a Washington goal early in their first round series. Apparently Halak overcame his nerves, to the tune of stopping 131 out of 134 shots over the last three games of that series to stun the top-seeded Capitals. The Montreal netminder proved it was no fluke turning back the defending Stanley Cup champions in seven games, including his second straight game seven road victory. Pittsburgh Penguins fans, I welcome you to the club. You have been...HALAKED!

Victory!

Holy crap I told you the Penguins had frickin missiles! For the first time since 1971 the road team won game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Maxime Talbot scored both goals in a 2-1 victory. Who the hell is Maxime Talbot? Fucked if I know! Some guy with way better facial hair than Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin. Crosby didn't even make it through the game, crumpling to the ice after a check led to a knee injury. Goalie Marc-Andre Fleury played spectacular including a diving, sprawling save as time expired. The hero of the series is Detroit's Marion Hossa, who turned down a more lucrative offer from the Penguins to sign with Detroit because they had a better chance of winning the cup. Hahahahaha!

Things that happened Monday more interesting than a football game

Check out the highlights from last night's Rutgers versus Georgia clash in women's college basketball! Actually, don't. I tend to be a defender of women's basketball in general, but I'm probably spoiled watching a UConn team that averages more points per game than those two scored COMBINED in a horrible matchup of teams unable to put the ball through the hoop. The lowlight of the game was a Georgia possession that featured the team passing the ball back and forth around the three point line until the shotclock buzzer sounded and the team meekly went back to defense having never once glanced in the direction of the hoop.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Buffalo and Pittsburgh met in a fun affair that featured wild end-to-end rushes and Buffalo taking three consecutive pairs of penalties to give Pittsburgh a 5 on 3 advantage spanning the end of the first period and beginning of the second. When asked why his team chose to spend that much time down two men coach Lindy Ruff scoffed, "We knew the couldn't score anyway." Actually, that's not true at all. But Pittsburgh did spend most of their powerplay time imitating the Georgia women's basketball team, leaving the door open for Buffalo's exciting third period comeback. Check out this play from Evgeni Malkin leading to Pittsburgh's first goal. Just for the record, you can't do that.

Presenting your Stanley Cup Champions!

The Detroit Red Wings won game 6 last night in dramatic fashion, clinching the Stanley Cup for the 4th time in the past 12 years. In case it didn't come through clearly, I was rooting like hell for Pittsburgh because fuck Detroit!

Anyway, Henrik Zetterberg deservedly took home the Conn Smyth trophy as the playoff MVP, scoring the eventual game winning goal in the third period. Pittsburgh goalie Marc Andre Fleury followed his 55 save virtuoso performance with a rather pedestrian effort in game 6. The third goal was a screened wrist shot that Fleury saved but could not hold. The puck trickled behind him and when he realized it he pushed the puck into his own net with his ass trying to flop backwards to cover it. Of course, without Fleury's heroics in game 5, this game never happens, so you really can't fault him. Much.

The game was not without its moments of controversy. Late in the third period with Detroit holding a seemingly insurmountable two goal lead, Pittsburgh was awarded a power play on a questionable hooking call. In a vacuum, it was a no doubt call as the Jiri Hudler had his stick parallel to the ice and used it to impede the progress of Evgeni Malkin. Given how the game and the series had been called to that point, it seemed like a no call. On the ensuing power play, Marian Hossa scored on a deflection of a Sergei Gonchar wrist shot. The reason Hossa was able to get a free stick on the shot was Pittsburgh's Ryan Malone slashed the stick out of Detroit's Andreas Lilja's hands, sending it spinning gracefully through the air. It made for a beautiful, artistic moment, but it was also a no doubt, easy to call slash on Malone that should have ended Pittsburgh's advantage.

Within a goal, Pittsburgh was making a final, desperate push with their goalie pulled for an extra attacker when Pavel Datsyuk gathered the puck for Detroit and skated towards the empty net. Right around the red line a Penguins player ripped Datsyuk's feet out from under him, sending the Russian sprawling and leading to one of the more exciting finishes to a playoff series I've ever seen. The puck worked its way across the ice as the time dwindled down. With only a few seconds left, all world superstar Sidney Crosby found the puck on his stick with a clear shot at the net. Crosby ripped off one of the great backhands you'll ever see. Red Wings goalie Chris Osgood got the tip of his glove on the shot and the puck trickled behind him. In a last desperate effort for a team that never gave up Hossa lunged for the loose puck and pushed it across the goal mouth as the clock wound down to zero.

It was a great end to a great series. The best team won and the NHL got a spectacular show out of its marquis match up.

You wouldn't make it in the NHL

Last night Pittsburgh survived game 5 in Detroit 4-3 in triple overtime. Petr Sykora scored about halfway through the 6th period on a power play goal. Ryan Malone planted himself directly in front of goalie Chris Osgood, blocking his vision on the winning tally. Earlier in the game Malone took a heavy slapshot off his already broken nose after planting himself directly in front of Osgood trying to block his vision. Hockey players are tough.

Penguins defenseman Sergei Gonchar earned an assist on the winning tally nearly two hours after he left the game with concussion-like symptoms that popped up when Gonchar crashed full speed head first into the boards. Gonchar on his game-winning assist said, "The game was so long. I wanted to help our guys. I started feeling better at the end of the second overtime, so I thought there was a chance." Hockey players are tough.

Sykora's goal came on a four minute power play. Defenseman Rob Scuderi took a high-stick to his face that caused a cut. The NHL has an automatic 4 minute penalty for any stick infraction that draws blood. Scuderi talking about his face said, "I was just praying for blood." Hockey players are out of their fucking minds.

Game 6 is back in Pittsburgh Wednesday night. Pretend it's a football game that moves faster than a snail's pace and doesn't stop every 8 seconds for 45 minutes for everyone to catch their breath and FUCKING WATCH IT!