Elisha Cuthbert has been avenged!

We've all seen the movie Sudden Death. OK, some people have seen Sudden Death. Fuck, even I haven't seen Sudden Death, but the premise of the movie is Jean Claude Van Damme dons the goalie equipment for an injured Pittsburgh Penguin and steps on the ice to make a key save in game 7 of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Also, there's bad guys and martial arts and in a surprise twist Van Damme kicks the shit out of everyone and saves the day. But that's just a movie right? I mean, shit like that doesn't happen in real life, does it? Au contraire mon ami! Meet Jack Bauer, all 5'9" of him.


When Jack appears, your day is about to get FUCKED UP, and there's nothing you can do. Agent Bauer took extreme offense to the off color remarks Sean Avery made about the actress who plays his daughter on TV and he wasn't about to let some damned Russians avenge her honor. OH NO! During a 3rd period TV timeout, Bauer jumped Sergei Federov on the bench, knocked him clean out and donned his equipment. So disguised, Bauerov calmly fired the game-winning goal just under the crossbar with 5 minutes to go, sealing the Capitals improbable comeback from a 3-1 series deficit.