I'd say that was effective

When the Mets built their 2 game lead in early September this year, I mentioned that the bullpen was still in disarray. Let's be honest here, it was their Achilles heel all season and proved to be the portion that contributed the most to the second place finish. With all world closer Billy Wagner (the motherfucker) shelved for 2009 following Tommy John surgery, the Mets were desperate to address the problem this offseason. I'm going to go ahead and say they accomplished their goal. Scroll down to the AL pitching reserves from the 2007 All Star game. Notice anything about that lineup? I'll give you a hint, if you count up from the bottom, by the time you get to 5 you'll have counted the Mets ace, their new closer, and their new set up man. Fuck and yes! The team sigined record setting closer Frankie "K-Rod" Rodriguez, and traded middling prospects and 2 members of last year's failed bullpen for J.J. "It's pronounced like 'puts'" Putz. Barring injury, apathy, or a mysterious loss of effectiveness, the Mets could well have upgraded from one of the worst bullpens in baseball to one of the very best.

This feels oddly familiar

Scott Kazmir pitched 6 gutsy innings last night turning over a 7-0 lead to his bullpen a mere 9 outs from the World Series. 2 and 2/3 disastrous innings later, the Sawks had an improbably 8-7 victory. When reached for comment Aaron Heilman scoffed, "I can do that." The Sawks have overcome ALCS deficits of 3 games to 0 and 3 games to 1 the last two times they've won the World Series, which means that 3-1 deficit this year really WAS right where they wanted to be. Game 6 is Sunday night back in Tampa, where the injured Josh Beckett takes on tough luck game 1 loser James Shields.

Mets sign Manuel

In the interest of keeping the Manuel manager ratio in the NL East up at least 40%, the Mets signed Gangsta Jerry Manuel to a 2 year contract. Manuel led the Mets to dramatic turnaround this season, only to watch the team collapse under the weight of its ineffective bullpen. I was a big fan of the job Manuel did this season, but more important David was a fan, and dammit that's good enough for me!

In news of teams that actually made the playoffs, the D**** Rays and Sawks took 2-0 leads in their respective series, the latter leading to Boston fans everywhere popping their collars and smashing empty Budweiser cans on their heads in delight.

It's all fun and games until you make an angry man cry

Oh sure, it's funny, but that doesn't make it hurt less.

Weeeee!

Last night the roller coaster started its slow climb back up after the gut-wrenching fall from the night before. Of course the barrel-rolling twisty section in the middle didn't do any wonders for my stomach. Don't these guys know how much I drink? Pedro Martinez battled through 6 tough innings last night in a steady rain, leaving with the game tied at 3 in the top of the 7th after letting the first two runners reach base. Following what could have been his final appearance on the mound at Shea, the Mets fans gave Petey a rousing ovation, which he acknowledged with a tip of the cap and a wave to the crowd. Of course, the love fest lasted all of one pitch, which reliever Ricardo Rincon saw deposited in the Mets bullpen for the go ahead three run homer. You know why!

But this Mets team is a different team from yesterday. Literally different from the night before. Ramon Hernandez (I don't know who he is either) and backup catcher Robinson Cancel came through with huge two out hits to tie the game in the bottom of the 8th, thanks in no small part to an imaginative slide from Ryan Church and a generous interpretation of "in the baseline" from the home plate umpire. Carlos Beltran's screaming line drive up the first base line ticked off the firstbaseman's glove in the bottom of the 9th to drive in the winning run and everyone exhaled. Kudos to the Mets for grinding out a victory against a Cubs team that started at least two regulars including pitcher Rich Harden. Sure very few of those players would actually make the postseason roster for Chicago, but the important part is the dream is still alive!

Next up for the Mets in their desperate kick for the finish line, their toughest opponent yet! Mother Nature! It started raining during last night's game and according to most weather reports it won't stop until Sunday. That means the Mets will have to scramble to get their final series against the Marlins played. Could baseball's first triple-header in over a century (if ever) get played on Sunday? Fuck no. Of course Bud Selig forced the Houston Astros to play "home" games against Chicago in Milwaukee while Hurricane Ike battered their city. I can see a situation where the Mets play a double header on Sunday, a makeup game on Monday that forces a tie with the Brewers, and then a one game playoff Monday evening for the National League wild card. It could happen!

Thoughts on the MVP race

I'm all hopped up on caffeine and hate, so I figured I'd throw my thoughts out there about the NL MVP race. Various names have been tossed out there as to who is the most deserving candidate. There is only one player who should win, but we'll get to that in a little bit.

First up, the midseason pickup candidates:

1. CC Sabathia. This guy has been an absolute monster for Milwaukee and is instrumental for their success in the latter part of this season. The argument against him? Johan Santana. Turns out one pitcher can only do so much, as Johan sports a record of merely 14-7 but has arguably been the third best pitcher in the National League this year behind Brandon Webb and Tim Lincecum.

2. Manny Ramirez. His inclusion in this race fills me with hate. He was, without exaggeration, the LEAST valuable player in the entire American League this year. His impressive offensive numbers aside, this is a man who despite his contributions actually HURT his old team offensively. If you have that kind of free time, you can do the research and find that the Red Sox's offensive output went up more losing Manny than the Dodgers' did by getting him. That is the kind of information you want to hear about your MVP?

Next up, the late-season surge candidates:

3. Carlos Delgado. There was talk earlier in the year of turning Delgado into a full time platoon player, if not cutting him outright. You just cannot award the MVP to a man who was nearly out of a job earlier this season due to his own incompetence. Not to mention on his own team Delgado ranks somewhere behind Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carlos Beltran and possibly even Johan Santana.

4. Ryan Howard. This guy was terrible early in the year. Just awful. All the talk is "Howard has put the Phillies on his back and is carrying them on their late season charge to the playoffs." What no one seems to be saying is "If only Howard had been hitting at least as well as Carlos Delgado the Phillies would have clinched the division 3 weeks ago." That earns a hearty thumbs down from this guy.

The only real deserving candidate:

5. Albert Pujols. This guy almost single-handedly kept a less talented St Louis team in contetion far longer than they had any right to expect. His offensive numbers are right up there with the other guys, and he's also a premier defensive first baseman. Of candidates 1-4, only Sabathia's fielding could be rated higher than atrocious. Oh yeah, this is a guy who might need Tommy John surgery this offseason. The argument against Pujols seems to be the Cardinals are currently in 4th place in the NL Central. To that I say based on my own awesomely awesome observations, here are the approximate dates each of the other three contenders' teams would have clinched division if you traded their MVP candidate straight up for Albert Pujols:
New York Mets - September 29th. Having Pujols would just have given the bullpen larger leads to blow. He would have clinched the unanimous MVP the last day of the season when he hit 3 home runs to give the Mets the lead then took the ball to pitch the 8th and 9th innings.
Philadelphia Phillies - September 15th. The Mets would have been so far behind by the time they fired Willie that Delgado would have been cut and they'd be trying out rookies at every position except center field, shortstop, and third base.
LA Dodgers - June 27th. Seriously that division would have been wrapped up the All Star break. The NL West was absolute garbage this year.

Maybe it's just brain damage

No one would ever accuse Ben Roethlisberger of being the smartest guy in the world. It is possible that Big Ben's decision to try and stop a Chrysler with his forehead might have had a negative impact on his cognitive ability. It is also possible that his offensive line is just terrible. According to Pat Kirwan on NFL.com, Ben is on pace to get crushed like nobody since David Carr behind the expansion Texans' 2002 offensive line. Now I'm no doctor but I'm guessing that with all his poor brain has been through already, getting this guy hit like a Mets' relief pitcher is probably bad for his long term ability to play quarterback, to say nothing of shoveling Lucky Charms into his mouth. On the bright side, the Steelers play the Ravens this weekend and it's not like they're well known for defense or anything. What's that? Oh.

Just when I think I'm out they suck me back in!

Love a good Godfather quote in the morning. Last night the Mets turned to their automatic collapse protection in an effort to prevent yet another September collapse. Just when I was coming to terms with the inevitable Johan spun a gem on the mound, going 8 strong innings and actually winning for a change. Behind the strength of Jose Reyes' and David Wright's steely good looks, I mean offense, the Mets held on for a 6-2 win. Most teams would probably find a 4 run lead in the 9th inning pretty comfortable, but Pedro Feliciano decided to give up two hits despite the fact he didn't actually face one of the Cubs' 8 best hitters. Luis Ayala came in to secure the win (this time) and the dream stayed alive for another day.

Last season Plaxico Burress gimped around on a bum ankle. Despite not practicing all season Burress established himself as one of the very best game day receivers. He made a huge deal out of reporting to work this offseason despite his unhappiness with his contract. Just before the season started, the Giants and his agent managed to work out a deal paying Burress as one of the top receivers in the game. I wondered at some point if Burress' success without practice was going to carry over to this season. Monday Plax decided not to show up. He did not tell anyone, he did not respond to efforts to contact him, and this morning coach Coughlin was unipressed with Burress' excuse for his absence. The star receiver was suspended this morning for the next two weeks, which is not as big a punishment as you'd think because the team has a bye this week. Burress will still miss two of his new fat paychecks. Fortunately for Giants fans, that means he will only miss Seahawks game a week from Sunday, and not a game against an actual NFL team. Still, kudos to Burress for proving once again he's just a big a douche as I always thought he was.

Second verse, same as the first

The Mets bullpen coughed up another lead. It gets tiresome writing the same things over and over, but the same thing keeps happening over and over. The Mets will either turn over a lead to a bullpen that can't hold it or rely on the relievers to keep the game close until the offense can scratch out some runs. Delgado's late two-run home run was rendered meaningless by Atlanta's 4 run explosion in the bottom of the 8th, leaving the Mets struggling into their final week of the season. Another collapse at the hands of Chicago and Florida over the next 7 days and you'll find me at the bottom of a bottle. What's that? I'm already at the bottom of a bottle? Hmmm...well, let everyone be warned. The Mets miss the playoffs this year and it might depress me to the point of sobriety. Hide the women and children.

In less depressing news, the Giants clawed out a victory against a game Cincinnati team and won in overtime. A win is a win, but I was kind of expecting a 30 point blowout. It's really hard not to score more points against those guys. That being said, with Philly taking out Pittsburgh, Washington beating Arizona, and Dallas stomping Green Bay, the NFC East is now a combined 10-2, with the 2 losses coming intradivision. It was suggested to me this morning that the NFL should abandon the idea of awarding a playoff spot to the NFC West winner and just let all 4 NFC East teams in this year if they earn it.

Oh for fuck's sake!

Pedro did his best audition for a coveted spot in the Mets bullpen by sucking against the Nationals last night. Of course, it doesn't matter how many runs your starters or bullpen yield if your offense fails to generate more than one run against John Lannan. Who? Exactly. After the bullpen gave away two leads over the weekend, and let the game get out of hand last night, the Mets find themselves ahead by a single game in the all-important loss column.

In other news, here is a hilarious interview between Andrea Kramer and Ben Roethlisberger where he refuses to answer questions about his injured shoulder. You could make the case he just didn't want to talk about the injury. Personally I am not entirely sure Big Ben knows what a shoulder is and didn't want to give an answer that would make him look stupid.

Good thing they play in a pitcher's park

The Mets and Nationals concluded their brief series at Shea last night, following a 10-8 affair with a 13-10 slugfest. The 41 combined runs was a record for a two game series in Queens, a fact that I made up and can't be bothered to verify. That's good math skills though, I did that in my head. Mike Pelfrey and Odalis Perez proved it is a bad idea to stay up all night drinking tequila lamenting why David Wright won't return their calls by giving up a combined 12 runs in 8 total innings of work. Amazingly, Pelfrey left the game after 5 innings in line for the victory before Aaron Heilman did what Aaron Heilman does and surrendered the lead on a 2 run homer. Fortunately, Saul Rivera and Joel Hanrahan are desparate to get out of Washington, and gave their best audition for slots in the Mets 2009 bullpen by surrendering 6 runs in the final two innings.

It is a little unfair to the Mets overworked bullpen that had been outstanding during the team's recent hot streak, but working with Oliver Perez and Pelfrey to surrender 18 runs to the Nationals is no small feat. The cellar dwellers from our nation's capital rank near the bottom in major league baseball in most offensive categories.

It's on!

Following a tough 3 game series with the rival Phillies over the weekend, the Mets found themselves 2 games ahead (in the loss column) with 19 left to play. On the bright side, this guarantees there will be no collapse like last years, since it's the easiest thing in the world to blow a 2 game lead. Hell, I have every sort of faith they could do that in a weekend. What follows is 12 consecutive games against the Nationals and Braves, the bottom feeders of the NL East. Of course, it was the lowly teams last year that knocked the Mets out of first, so this is by no means a slam dunk for the season, especially with the Phillies having an easy road to the finish themselves.

On a sad note, it is time to retire my favorite, tag, possibly forever. Billy Wagner will undergo Tommy John surgery to repair his damaged elbow, and could well have thrown his last pitch for the Mets. Good luck to you in your recovery Mr. Wagner, you'll always be a motherfucker in my book.

This means the team must now turn to Luis Ayala for the closing duties. Ayala has pitched brilliantly for the team thus far, and we can only hope that his struggles earlier in the year can be attributed to the scientifically proven fact that donning a Washington Nationals jersey makes you suck at baseball. If Ayala fails, the closing duties turn to Brian Stokes, who failed spectacularly in the bullpen for Tampa last season, but everyone knows that was due to the presence of the word "Devil" in the team's name. Beyond Stokes the Mets would turn to a motley crew who have failed so spectacularly in the role so far this season. Looking on the bright side, the Mets suddenly anemic offense (outside of the mysteriously resurgent Carlos Delgado) would have to actually score enough runs to take the lead for the bullpen to blow it, so they have that going for them.

Put me in coach!

Tied at 3 in the bottom of the 9th inning last night, Aaron Heilman promptly walked the leadoff hitter. A successful sacrifice bunt from the pitcher and a wild pitch later, the Marlins had the winning run on third with only one out. Heilman would intentionally walk the bases loaded bringing up Josh Willingham. 5 pitchers later Willingham walked bringing home the winning run. Hey, I can do that. You need someone to throw 16 pitches out of the strike zone? I am capable of that! Give me a quarter of a million dollars!

Fuck you bullpen...the sequel!

So last night the Mets jumped out to an early 7-0 lead, then flipped the switch to neutral and coasted to an 8-7 lost in extra innings. Hey, remember last year when you guys had a 7 game lead with 17 to play, flipped the switch to neutral and coasted to a second place finish? No? Cause we fucking do! The Mets are something of an enigma as the highest scoring team in ALL of baseball in innings 1-6, and the lowest scoring team in the National League in innings 7 on. See most teams like to grind it out against their opponents starter (theoretically one of the 5 best pitchers on the staff) and then beat up on the weak middle relief. Not the Mets. They like to stomp on the starter early, knock him out of the game, and the go back to the clubhouse to shower for a night ou...oh shit the game's still going on! Ah fuck it, they won't catch us, right? RIGHT? Damn.

In other news, after some deep soul searching Michael Strahan has decided to stay retired and not take over for the injured Osi Umenyiora. I was going to do a post about how a desparate Giants team lowballed their best option into staying retired, but it turns out they offered him a mint and he just really doesn't want to play anymore. Too bad, that was going to be some funny shit. The Giants will instead turn to plan B, moving linebacker Mathias Kiwanuka back to defensive end, where he started his career. Originally moved to linebacker last season because he was blocked by Strahan and Umenyiora, this seems like a good time to see what the former first round pick can do.

Maybe it's me?

I'm pretty sure of the roughly 6 games I've attended this season at beloved rat hole Shea Stadium the Mets have lost roughly 12 of them. Wasting a spectacular two home run effort by Carlos Beltran yesterday afternoon, the Mets bullpen did what it always does and choked on a big fat dick. Actually, that's not entirely true. Scott Schoenweis, Joe Smith, Luis Ayala, and Duaner Sanchez combined for 2.2 innings of hitless relief. Unfortunately Aaron Heilman and Pedro Feliciano also pitched, managing to give up as many hits in 1 combined inning of work as tough look starter Oliver Perez gave up in 6.1. Heilman was particularly efficient, giving up 2 hits in 4 pitches.

Looking on the bright side, the bullpen's ineptitude kept the fickle Shea fans from whining, "You know, for $119 million, Beltran could've hit at least 3 fucking home runs." You can mark down a loss to the woeful Braves on September 13th, the next time I drag my cursed ass to the Stadium.

In other news, go fuck yourself preseason. On the bright side, it's now been over two years since Ben Roethlisberger tried to stop a car with his forehead. Who says football players are dumb?