Now THAT'S pathetic!

As time expired last night, Nate Robinson hit a last second 3 pointer from half court that should have been utterly meaningless in yet another Knicks blowout loss, but held significance for one very important reason. Thanks to the Celtics magnanimous decision to just dribble out the shot clock and take a violation in the closing seconds of a 48 point blowout, Robinson was able to hit the 3 and draw the Knicks within 45. Those 3 points gave the Knicks a total of 59, or one point more than the all time franchise low. Since taking over the franchise a few seasons ago, Isiah Thomas has managed to assemble a cast of talent so embarrassingly bad, the team's supposed superstar threatened to go public with personal allegations against the coach if he was not given more playing time.

Players were obviously bored and disinterested on the bench, yawning on camera during a nationally broadcast embarrassment. The broadcast team openly speculated whether or not the 104-59 drubbing would be the final straw in Thomas' ignominious career. The announcers concluded that since the Knicks had to turn around and play again the next night, Thomas would be given one more chance. As a once and hopefully future Knicks fan, I can only hope that Thomas will finally be fired for his chronic ineptitude.

Isiah Thomas has always been a keen talent evaluator. With the Knicks, his shrewd picks of Channing Frye, Trevor Ariza, David Lee, Nate Robinson, Mardy Collins, and Ronaldo Blackman would be a solid foundation of role players, character guys, and energy off the bench. Of course, Thomas traded Ariza for the epic failure that used to be Steve Francis' career, and Channing Frye for Zach Randolph, who is just as likely to get you a dog-fighting scandal as he is a 20 point, 10 rebound season. Charles Barkley tried defending Thomas by saying it is not his fault that his players have quit on him. I am sorry, but when you surround yourself with the likes of Stephon Marbury, a loser at every stop on his NBA career, Randolph, Jerome James who gets $60 million to occasionally play garbage time minutes, etc., you are going to have your team quit on you. Thomas has been nothing short of a disgrace to this once proud franchise and needs to be fired immediately, with a heartfelt apology sent to every remaining season ticket holder for the atrocity they have been presented.

Splat!

In what has to be one of the more entertaining 3-0 NFL games you will ever see, the Steelers kept the Dolphins hopes for a perfect season alive last night. The highlight of the game by far was watching the slow, painful descent into insanity by the die-hard Steelers fan on my couch. Dip your hair in marinara sauce? No problem! Dunk the tips into your beer, it adds flavor!

On the field, the highlight of the game and the play that epitomized the field conditions was a Dolphins punt that stuck straight into the ground. Afterwards, the talking heads speculated on the safety of the players in such conditions. That's funny. Ricky Williams had to leave the game after he was stepped on by a 300 pound defensive lineman while laying prone on the ground. Jesse Chapman left with a neck injury in the third quarter following a violent head on collision with a defensive back. At one point the announcers joked about comparing a James Harrison sack of John Beck to getting into a rear end collision in your car. Yet somehow after the game the analysts decided to worry about the footing on the field. Believe me, if these guys were worried about slipping in some mud, they would have taken up a sensible game like baseball, or badminton.

What the hell was that?

A couple of real head scratchers were played yesterday in the northeast. First a 7-3 Giants team was taken to task by a 4-6 Minnesota team. Of more concern to the Giants fans was Eli Manning's utter inability to direct a ball towards its intended target. He threw a remarkable 4 interceptions, of which the best result for the Giants was when the ball was returned to the Giants 8 yard line. I can imagine Eli happily skipping to the sidelines saying, "Hey coach, at least that one didn't go for a touchdown!" Actually, I can imagine Eli and Coach Coughlin having a conversation that went remarkably similar to this:

Coughlin: "The BLUE jerseys Eli, we're wearing the BLUE jerseys!"
Eli: "Throw it to the guys wearing white, got it."
C: "No, BLUE, BLUE, throw it to BLUE!"
E: "WHITE, WHITE, I got it, geez, don't yell at me Coach, Peyton and Cooper stuffed my head in the turkey again."
C: "..."

Sunday night saw the Patriots extend their perfect season to 11-0, but just barely. Given that the Eagles boast two of the best cover corners in the league and a defensive coordinator who is a master of designing exotic blitz schemes, the Patriots have to be happy with putting 31 points on the board. But giving up 28 points to the Eagles? When their quarterback was A.J. Feeley? And Junior Seau effectively bottled up Brian Westbrook, the lone dangerous weapon on the Eagles offense? If not for a boneheaded Feeley interception late in the 4th quarter the Patriots could well have woken up today at 10-1 and wondering what happened. I may be off base here, but I'm speculating Feeley tried to bribe the Patriots defenders with promises to let them watch Heather Mitts shower.

Football weekend!

The UConn men's basketball team was slaughtered by Memphis on Friday night. This was expected and I did not watch it. I just wanted to have something in here that was not about football.

Saturday the UConn football team ran all up and down on Syracuse in their home finale. This sets up a titanic clash between the Huskies and the Mountaineers of West Virginia next Saturday in Morgantown for the Big East championship. The winner of that game will represent the Big East in the BCS in January. This is a potentially huge thing for the Huskies. Traditionally, basketball powers do not excel in football and vice versa. The exception seems to be the University of Florida, but Connecticut is only a few years removed from being a I-AA school. A nationally televised bowl game on the biggest stage with a $15 million payout will be a coup for recruiting. Head coach Randy Edsel's name will be bandied about for the most sought after jobs in the country. Now in all likelihood West Virginia will run the Huskies off the field, but still, UConn should get a major bowl birth and some wonderful TV recognition. Also, their starting quarterback is the younger brother of the Giants Jared Lorenzen, or as I like to call him the Fat Kid.

There were three key NFL games this weekend, and by key I mean I watched three games. First up were the Giants on FOX winning a huge game on the road against a good Lions team. Pending the status of Brandon Jacobs hamstring, the Giants look poised to be a team that will lose a divisional playoff game to either Green Bay or Dallas in the second round of the playoffs. Burress had himself a game worthy of last season, mixing the spectacular catch with the inexplicable drop. The defensive backfield once again chose to let their opponents top receiver run uncovered downfield, but the defensive line had another huge game and Manning continues to look like a real NFL quarterback. The emergence of Jacobs as a receiver out of the backfield and a capable blocker picking up the blitz is adding a new dimension to the offense to complement his bruising running attack.

Second the Steelers got caught in a classic trap game against the woeful Jets. Coming off a dramatic comeback win against a feisty Browns team, Pittsburgh kicked off the easiest part of their schedule by failing to show up to New Jersey. To be fair, no one ever really wants to go to Jersey, but the NFL scheduled the game and there is no excuse to not win. The Jets boasted one of the NFL's worst rushing defenses, figuring to get pushed all over the field by the physical Steelers. Fast Willie Parker was more Wee Willie than Fast Willie this week and often found himself slipping to the ground before the first tackler had a chance to drop him for a loss. The defense failed time and again to stop the Jets offense who lost their top receiver to injury early in the game. I have no thoughts about this game except that if they blow off next week's Monday nighter to the Dolphins and ruin Miami's perfect season they should be forced to forfeit all their previous wins to the Bengals and Browns. That was just not good enough boys.

Sunday night saw New England continue their march to perfection with an absolute drubbing of the Bills. The interesting thing to me is that we were discussing how big a spread would have to be on the game for you to take Buffalo. At one point I observed that if you were allowed to bet extra that the Patriots would double the spread, you would have been safe laying up to 23 points. It turns out that late last week the spread was 16. Really? Vegas was having people take the Bills +16 points? Have bettors completely ignored the entire Patriots season up to this point? Needless to say that if I were a betting man, I'd take the Patriots and give the points for next week's Eagles game. For all the people complaining that the Patriots are being poor sports and running up the score? You are darned right they are, and it is fantastic!

A Rod versus the Wolf

So A Rod is crawling back to the Yankees. Hahahahahahahaha! *pant* *gasp* Ahahahahahaha! I'm sure other writers elsewhere will cover this whole thing far more eloquently than I can, but it is worth noting that when he opted out of the original contract, he took the Texas Rangers off the hook for the remaining $21 million they owed the Yankees as part of the 2004 trade. The Yankees are apparently beginning negotiations by telling him that they are not going to pay him that $21 million. *titter* I'm giddy just thinking about it. I can't hit in the clutch either, maybe they can pay me that extra $21 million?

Anyway, last night was my first foray to the rocking Hartford Civic Center for a clash of the titans...or a minor league hockey game between the Hartford Wolfpack and the Norfolk Admirals. The evening started with a pint and a car bomb or two at the pub before we headed out to the game. The free tickets (honestly, is there a better kind of ticket?) had us right next to the ice, and unfortunately for some, right next to the backup goalie. Some arenas, i.e. the Civic Center, do not have enough room on the bench for the backup goalie and all his equipment, so they sit them next to the rink in the runway to the visitors locker room. The Admirals coach had an interesting strategy for the game. He chose to only have his players shoot on net every few minutes in an attempt to ice the Wolfpack goalie. This strategy proved effective as the Admirals scored 3 goals on a mere 20 shots.

The downside of this strategy is the rest of the game the Wolfpack were peppering the Admirals goalies like they were ducks at a shooting gallery. In an effort to save his goalies from bruising and humiliation, the coach played the starter in the first and third periods and the backup in the second period. That meant a bunch of drunken hockey players may have had ample opportunity to heckle the starting goalie for a full 20 minutes of game time during the second period. Apparently he did not take kindly to our friendly observations of his abilities, as he made a point at the start of the third period to skate over to us and stroke his stick in a suggestive manner. That was a little too much for one of our intrepid crew who was screaming for the backup to reclaim the crease.

"Put in Munro!"

"Dude, his name is Munce."

"Put in Mun, why couldn't your name be Smith? Or Tyler. Tyler's a good name."

It is possible that a curse word or two escaped his lips during his drunken expectoration towards the starting goaltender leading to his unfortunate expulsion from the game at the hands of one of Hartford's finest. Honestly, the game was just a little less fun after that. Oh yeah, the Wolfpack won 6-3 or something like that.

My case for the Mets NOT signing A-Rod

Rumors of late have the Mets expressing interest in Alex Rodriguez. The presumed 2007 MVP and the man widely considered to be the best player in the world (actually, that's a good test of your sports aptitude. If you think there's a better player than A-Rod your opinion is not valid. If you think David Ortiz is a better player than A-Rod, please go drown yourself in the Charles) opted out of his record contract to become an unrestricted free agent. His former team, the New York Yankees, for whom he won 2 MVP awards but played in no World Series games have expressed no interest in resigning the superstar.

Most experts feel A-Rod would thrive on the west coast, playing for his old manager Joe Torre on the Dodgers or giving Vladimir Guerrero much needed protection in the Angels lineup. On the left coast, winning is not nearly as important as looking pretty, and if there's anything Rodriguez has proved over the course of his career is that he excels at both not winning and looking pretty. The following is a list of reasons why I believe A-Rod would not succeed as a New York Met:

1. He cannot pitch. The man just put up one of the great seasons for the ages, and for the first time in 10 seasons the Yankees failed to win their division. Why? Their pitching staff was sub-par. What is the biggest need for the Mets this offseason? Pitching. Unless A-Rod is about to pull an anti-Ruth, he cannot fix what was broken.

2. Carlos Beltran. Three years ago, the Mets made the biggest splash in the free agent market signing superstar Carlos Beltran to the richest contract in team history. All Beltran has done in the interim is be the best centerfielder in the National League...and the team is exploring trade options. If simply being the best at what he does is not good enough, A-Rod is doomed coming out of the gate.

3. David Wright and Jose Reyes. As a Mets fan, I cannot begin to describe how exciting it is that the Mets have two home-grown superstars manning the left side of their infield. Unless A-Rod is going to switch to second base or a corner outfield position, he is going to displace either Wright or Reyes, meaning he will be taking the position of one of the most popular Mets to have ever played. His first season with the Yankees, A-Rod replaced Aaron Bleeping Boone, who except for a memorable home run in the 2003 postseason could not really play BEFORE he blew out his knee playing pickup basketball. It took Rodriguez the better part of four years before the Yankees fans started accepting him as one of their own. What chance does he have replacing either Wright or Reyes?

In addition, fair or not, there is the perception that A-Rod is something of a cancer in the clubhouse. Overall a team will of course be better with the best player in the game on the roster, but the immediate impact of the last two teams he left was they got better. The Rangers improved by 18 games in 2004, and the Mariners improved by 25 (!) games in 2001. The logical conclusion is that as talented as the man obviously is, he lacks that certain something that lifts his teams to greater heights. It should be noted that in the long run, both of his previous teams eventually ended up worse than when he was still playing for them, but something about that statistic makes me hesitant to believe he is the missing piece in the Mets championship puzzle.

And finally, if you had to pick one moment that defined A-Rod's career, it would have to be this one:

arodpurse.jpg

Does that look like the kind of player you build a franchise around?

Not a great day to be a Manning.

November 11th was not a particularly memorable for the Manning family. Eli went 23/34 for 236 yards, 1 touchdown and 2 interceptions in a home loss to the division-leading Cowboys. Peyton went 34/56 for 328 yards, 2 touchdowns and a career-high 6 interceptions in a road loss to the underachieving Chargers. Cooper sat at home watching the games unfold and thought to himself "Well F me, I can do that! Where's my millions of dollars?"

It was interesting to watch the end of the Chargers versus Colts game when the most clutch kicker of all time, Adam Vinatieri missed a chip shot 29 yard field goal that would have given the Colts the lead with 90 seconds to play. Apparently all the times Mike "The Idiot Kicker" Vanderjagt missed key field goals that lost his team the game were not his fault. It turns out that Peyton's giant head actually alters the flight of the ball. A similar phenomenon was observed in Pittsburgh where the metal plate in Ben Roethlisberger's head that prevents (any more of) his brain from leaking out his ears had just enough drag on Cleveland's potential game-tying field goal to preserve the victory.

The Giants game featured costly penalties, bone-headed turnovers, and an utter inability to stop Terrell Owens. In other words it was a typical Giants game. The Giants might well be the third best team in the NFC, but no have virtually no shot of catching the Cowboys for the NFC East lead, meaning they will be playing a road game at either the West or South winner if they make the playoffs. As has been proven in the Giants' three losses this season, any team with a decent passing attack can shred their secondary. At least Eli has learned to mostly hide his tears on the field. His voice barely cracks anymore when he's calling out his audibles!

In news that surely escaped the mainstream media, Mets All Stars David Wright (third base) and Carlos Beltran (outfield) paired their recent gold gloves with silver sluggers. Now there is no more unabashed David Wright supporter than I am, but even I am willing to admit his gold glove was a farce. The man practically led the league in errors from his position! Not exactly what you're looking for in your gold glove defenders. I would like to tip my cap to Carlos Beltran who has managed to put up 3 consecutive typically excellent years patrolling center field for the Mets. It is an extremely difficult outfield to play, especially when your starting corner outfielders have the combined range of a lamp post. You hear a lot about the Mets wanting to trade Beltran to rid themselves of his contract, which upsets me on any number of levels. Where else are you going to find a gold glove outfielder who hits .270 with 30+ home runs and 100+ RBIs every year? What more do they want from him? It's not like they're hurting for money, they play in New York City and have their own cable company for crying out loud! Also, David Wright is dreamy.