Someone on ESPN needs to just fucking die

I've never actually rooted for anyone to have a heart attack live on the air before, but last night marked a first for me. As Josh Hamilton launched majestic home run after majestic home run, the commentators at ESPN took glee in beating the remarkable comeback story into the ground. This is a young man who not all that long ago was a washed up former #1 pick killing himself with a cocaine and heroin addiction. He found Jesus, cleaned up, and just 2 years later took center stage in the 2008 home run derby at Yankee Stadium. As yet another ball disappeared into the night sky, some jackass on ESPN announced, "I guess it's a bad day to be an atheist!"

Really? What with 1000s dying in the Middle East, millions dying in Africa, floods and natural disasters destroying communities, I'd say it's a pretty bad time to be a Christian. I mean if your lord and savior can't be bothered to intervene in all the global tragedies around the world but managed to find the time to jam some Viagra into (no offense to Mr. Hamilton) some asshole's bat, you'd really have to wonder about his/her/its priorities.

Paper tigers

I didn't really see that coming. The Mets entire team managed to round into form at the same time, taking a 9 game winning streak into the All Star break. Of course, the last 6 of those 9 games have come against hapless NL West opponents, but sweeping consecutive series at home is no small feat. The 9 game winning streak is the team's longest since they last won the National League in 2000 and along the way the Mets became the first team in the modern era (post 1900) to give up 3 or fewer hits in 5 consecutive games.

So what does it all mean? In the end...not a whole heck of a lot. The Mets won some games they are supposed to win and look to have the talent to be right near the top of a weak NL East. A break here and there, some good luck with their health and this team can absolutely win the division and make the playoffs.

Far and away the most exciting part of the recent hot streak is the apparent emergence of Mike Pelfrey, a Mets first round pick who until very recently had struggled at the major league level. Thanks to some tremendous run support, Pelfrey is now the proud owner of a personal 6 game winning streak, but beyond that has looked downright dominant at times. He has given up 1 earned run over his last 3 starts, including 7 innings of shutout ball against the Cardinals last week and 8 shutout innings against the Rockies last night. The idea of Pelfrey, who has all the physical tools, working as an effect #2 or #3 starter on a contending team has to have Mets fans everywhere giddy. In fact, in no small part because Pelfrey's contribution, you can now show this much of your face with pride as a Mets fan:

Anything you can do I can do worse

In a battle of ineptitude, managers Manuel matched up to see who could make the worst move in last night's 10-9 slugfest. Phillies manager Charlie cast the die with the curious decision to sacrifice rookie pitcher R.J. Swindle of the 55 MPH curveball fame. David Wright greeted him with a home run to left. The Mets would eventually push the lead to 10-1 against Swindle, and then since they didn't learn from some sort of calamity last year (people keep telling me about it, I have no idea what they're talking about) they took their foot off the gas and coasted home.

Mets manager Jerry, perhaps disgusted with his team's lack of effort in the later innings, decided to show them and brought in Tony Armas Jr. Hey, maybe there was a reason he was available! After Pedro pitched an effective 5 1/3 innings, Jerry brought Armas in for some mop up duty. He promptly gave the Phillies a glimmer of hope, allowing them to climb with 10-5. In marched Aaron Heilman, he of the short attention span and the uncanny knack to give up home runs. 1 1/3 innings later, Heilman turned it over to that motherfucker Billy Wagner at 10-7.

Not to be outdone, amidst the comeback Charlie removed his best player, secondbaseman Chase Utley for no good reason. Maybe he was afraid a monster left-handed bat in the lineup might have been able to push the tying run across the plate and then his fat ass would have to wait through extra innings to get to the buffet. For good measure, Jerry got ejected in the bottom of the 7th arguing a disputed home run call (replay anyone?), perhaps worried that Charlie might eat his way through the clubhouse before he got there.

Anyway, in the 9th that motherfucker Wagner came on and promptly allowed the first two batters to reach base. A strikeout and a fly out and Wagner found himself facing the tying run with two outs in the bottom of the 9th. Even though I wasn't watching a shiver of deja vu ran down my spine. Sure enough, a sharply hit single to center followed by a throwing error from Beltran allowed two runners to score and the tying run to reach scoring position, bringing up Sunday's hero (well, until the 12th) Jason Werth. This time that motherfucker Wagner induced a flyout, ending the game, and preventing what can only be presumed to be a crushing loss.

As always, I will try to see the bright side to the team nearly blowing a 9 run lead, so let's go with Jose Reyes. The man had a monster game and looks to be rounding into 2006 form when he was the spark plug that made the offense go. A big shout out to Endy Chavez whose 3 hits, 2 RBI and 2 runs were instrumental in building the early lead.

Billy Wagner is a motherfucker

"MOTHERFUCKER!" I screamed last night as a 2 out, 2 strike slider to Jason Werth in the bottom of the 9th inning disappeared over the left-centerfield wall. One bad pitch turned a 2-0 lead into a 2-2 extra innings affair. Fortunately for Billy, the Mets have Fernando Tatis. Huh, that sounds weird. Oh well, I'm going to roll with it. Fortunately, the Mets have Fernando Tatis who hit a home run in the top of the 12th, providing the Mets with the deciding runs in their 4-2 victory. Interestingly, just before Wagner blew the save the Mets announcers provided the interesting fact that the Mets had not won a game scoring 2 or fewer runs since last July. It was almost like Wagner heard them and thought to himself, "Yeehaw! Now that sounds like tradition and I ain't one to buck tradition. Here ya go Werthie!" For the record, I assume Billy Wagner starts every thought, sentence, and action with "Yeehaw!"

Oliver Perez pitched 7 shutout innings, Carlos Beltran drove in the first two Met runs with a solo home run and a two out RBI single, and the Mets escaped a 2 on, 1 out jam in the bottom of the 8th after a lengthy rain delay, but the unsung hero of the game was reliever Joe Smith. Smith spun 2 1/3 scoreless innings, matching his longest career outing, and even provided a moment of levity in the top of the 12th when his second career major league at bat saw him strike out on three pitches. Just a suggestion Joe, but next time you might want to try getting your feet entirely within the batter's box.

The Mets have won 2 of 3 from the first place Phillies, and conclude their series in the city of brotherly hate tonight at 7:05.

Set your expectations on blah!

For over a full calendar year now, the Mets have been a .500 baseball team. That means you can fully expect the Mets to play about .500 baseball for the rest of the season. No, seriously, there's no magical cure, there's no quick fix solution. Maybe Oliver Perez will respond better to the new pitching coach and pitch well more consistently, but he's got a pretty established track record of pitching down to his competition, except for the Yankees against whom for some reason he pitches really well. Pedro Martinez is no longer the Pedro of even 2005, and sadly Carlos Delgado is no longer the Carlos of 2007, who wasn't very good at all. The Mets threw a 4 year contract at a 30-something year old slap-hitting second baseman with arthritic knees who reportedly looks like a mummy after every game he's so wrapped up in bandages. Their offense is almost entirely non-existent outside of Wright, Reyes, and Beltran. They rely heavily on Moises Alou, who's never healthy, and Ryan Church, who is playing better than anyone could have imagined but has yet to figure out that his head is not the ideal point of contact with large, immovable objects. Johan Santana has been great despite his mediocre record, John Maine has been very good as has Billy Wagner, and Mike Pelfrey is showing signs of figuring it out.

The farm system is a little barren at the moment, meaning they cannot be a player for a big time prize like C.C Sabbathia. That means they'd have to part with their top prospects for a bottom of the order older corner outfielder like Xavier Nady, who is certainly not the missing link. Sadly the team looks like it will have to play out the remainder of the season, never really in contention but never really out of it. They will then part ways with Delgado and Alou, eat Castillo's ridiculous contract, figure out if Pedro can settle into a solid middle of the rotation pitcher, and convince Church to start wearing a helmet in the outfield a la John Olerud. It is not outside the realm of possibility that they'll be able to sneak into the playoffs with 87 wins like the Yankees in 2000 or the Cardinals in 06, but the second half of this season should be an open audition for upgrades at the problem positions. In the meantime, remember the Mets have 2 of the top 16 players in the entire game manning the left side of their infield according to the very smart people over at baseball prospectus and a top 15 pitcher having a "down year." This team isn't all that bad, it just isn't all that good either.