BOOM goes the dyno-Ike!

Holy crap that's a bad headline! The Braves Kenshin Kawakami tried to sneak a fastball by Ike Davis and Davis responded with a "FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" deep breath "OOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!" 450 feet later Davis had his first major league home run en route to a 5-2 Mets win. John Maine was so impressed he pulled himself from the game in the 4th inning before he could blow the game. Hisanori Takahashi was so impressed he threw 3 strong innings in relief of Maine and struck out 7. Braves third-baseman and noted Mets slayer was so awed he not only dropped a later Ike Davis popup, he failed to catch Jose Reyes' popup with 2 on and one out in the 7th inning when Reyes was already retired on the infield fly rule. Braves catcher Brian McCann was so stunned he then threw to first base trying to double off Luis Castillo because obviously you have to tag up when the ball isn't caught? The throw left home plate uncovered and allowed Angel Pagan to score. Listen, it was an impressive fucking home run. Watch the highlights here on ESPN.com.

Well that's good news

I don't know if this Jayson Stark ESPN.com article is Insider only, but let me quote the part that has the most relevance to this blog:

Mets (6-9, last place in NL East)

Rating: Reality

Twice in the last week, we've heard two scouts make a remark like this: "I think Washington is a much better club than the Mets."

From where we Rumblers and Grumblers sit, we wouldn't go that far. At some point, you can take these predictions to Vegas: Jason Bay will hit a home run. And Carlos Beltran will get a hit. And Francisco Rodriguez will save a game. And a starter other than Johan Santana and Mike Pelfrey will win a game. But is this a good enough, or deep enough, team to hang with the Braves, Phillies and Marlins? We're not hearing anybody say that except the Mets themselves.

"You know, baseball needs the Mets to be good," one scout said. "Baseball is more fun when the Mets are good and that rivalry between them and the Phillies is cooking. But this just isn't a real good team. If you look past Santana, and Pelfrey the way he's pitched so far, you see where the Mets' problems lie. They've got legitimate concerns in that rotation. I watched that bullpen six days, and they've got four guys on pace to pitch over 80 games. That says their starters just are not getting deep enough. And I don't see that changing."

Strap in boys and girls, it's going to be a looooong season! Here's an awesomely awful photoshop to celebrate!

Ike Davis makes losses exciting

The Mets got thumped by the Cubs 9-3 last night. Ollie Perez was effectively erratic, allowing only 3 runs while pitching only 5 innings. The bullpen did its best imitation of Mets bullpens past by giving up 6 runs and slamming the door shut on any potential Mets comeback. The highlight of the night by far was Ike Davis' spectacular catch in foul territory where he flipped over the railing to the Mets dugout. I'll post a YouTube video of the catch, but once they remove it you can just go to this post from MetsBlog.com to see the catch as well as David Wright talking about...well, something. I'll be honest, I didn't pay much attention since was standing there looking all buff and rugged in his sleeveless shirt.

Playoff update

My distaste for the Bruins is not a secret. That being said, their potential elimination of the Buffalo Sabres makes for a deliciously juicy Eastern Conference playoff picture. The NHL does not subscribe to a bracket style playoff system, so after the first round the highest remaining seed plays the lowest remaining seed, and the two middle seeds battle it out. Had the seeds held, the Capitals would once again be facing off against the Penguins in round two. With both Boston and the Philadelphia Flyers on the verge of upsetting their higher-seeded opponents, Washington and Pittsburgh look to be the top remaining teams in round two. That sets up the potential of a Caps v Pens eastern conference finals, which is what everyone wants to see anyway.

Wrapping up Wednesday night's action, the Caps won going away and the Canadiens goalie was not happy about it. Hey Carey, don't want to see the other team celebrate in front of you? How about making a fucking save? The Bruins won in double overtime. They actually scored THREE goals in this game. Of course, it took them nearly a half a game longer to reach that lofty total so let's go ahead and call that an average offensive night. The most exciting game of the night was Vancouver's 6-4 win in Los Angeles. This game saw 5 goals scored in the third period, or as many as the Bruins and Sabres scored total in almost 5 periods of play.

Let's call it a winning streak!

The Mets topped the Cubs last night 4-0 to win their second straight, likely their longest winning streak of the year. The win assures the Mets at least a split of their 4 game series, meaning they officially cannot lose a series for the first time this season. Jose Reyes was the hitting star, collecting four hits including a two out, two RBI triple that provided all the runs Mike Pelfrey would need. Big Pelf went seven strong innings, running his shutout streak to 19 consecutive scoreless frames. Rookie Japanese pitcher Ryota Igarashi proved to be a true Met in the 8th inning by slipping while attempting to field a bunt and straining his hamstring. On most teams you'd expect him to be back on the mound in a few days. Since it's the Mets, I assume he'll have the leg amputated some time this summer. The highlight of the game for me came in the bottom of the 8th inning when Fernando Tatis' two out, pinch hit home run gave the Mets a 4-0 lead and denied Frankie Rodriguez a save opportunity. Despite the team actually winning 6 games this season, K-Rod has only pitched in one save situation which he promptly blew.

Caps win!

I'd love to give you some details about the game, but between Ike Davis debuting for the Mets and the fact that Versus showed the Bruins game instead, I don't have a clue. That's right, even though the game was locally available on NESN, Versus chose to show the Bruins, a team that hates offensive players over the Capitals. Both teams won, one team scored five goals the other team scored two. Guess which was which? This is like opposite world from baseball, who probably would have blacked the Bruins out on both channels. Anyway, Ovechkin scored, the Caps won and took a 2-1 series lead over the Canadiens.

In other hilariously ironic news, the Toronto Maple Leafs nabbed the second pick in the upcoming NHL entry draft, a pick they sent to Boston in exchange for high scoring winger Phil Kessel. Kessel had the audacity to score 30 goals for the Bruins in the '08-'09 season, signaling the end of his time in Boston. The Bruins will likely take center Tyler Seguin or winger Taylor Hall with the second pick, hoping to spin the talented forward for additional draft picks as soon as he dares to score 30 goals for the team.

The Ike Davis Era has begun

Heralded first base prospect Ike Davis made his major league debut last night. The move reeks of desperation, but let's be honest here, it's not like he can be any worse than Mike Jacobs. "Strike out fewer than 12 times out of every 14 at bats and play at least below average defense? Got it skip!"

Davis did more than that, going 2 for 4 with a broken bat single in his first at bat and an RBI single later in the game. He also flew out deep to right-center field where the wall stands an impressive 415 feet away showing flashes of the power the Mets hope he can provide from first base.

Oh yeah, the Mets won too. 6-1. So that's kind of nice. That's two wins in three games, or likely their most successful stretch of the season. Jon Niese pitched well, Jason Bay got an actual RBI, and the awesomely named Angel Pagan hit his first home run of the year. All in all a successful debut for Davis, who hopes to play at least 5 or 6 more games this year before suffering a season ending injury.

John Carlson...winner

Hey, remember back in January when the US team stunned Canada in overtime to win the world junior championships? Turns out there may have been some talent on that American squad, and overtime hero John Carlson just keeps proving his mettle. Since being called up for good on January 15, Carlson recorded a goal and 5 assists while seeing 15 minutes of ice time a night. Add to that his first playoff goal, as he tied a wild affair in Washington at 5 with only 1:21 to go in the third period. Nicklas Backstrom would score 31 seconds into overtime, proving the age old adage that one hat trick (Backstrom's) is better than another (Montreal's Andrei Kostitsyn's) when you have a 20 year old kid from Natick, MA playing defense who only knows how to score heroic goals. At least, I'm pretty sure that's how it goes.

Things you can do during a 20 inning baseball game

Johan Santana struggled early but quickly rounded into form and pitched 7 strong, shutout innings. Jaime Garcia stifled the Mets, not even allowing a hit until the 5th inning. It seemed likely that the first team to score would win the game, and FOX would have its shortest Saturday afternoon broadcast in quite some time. Well...maybe not.

Here's a fun fact. Did you know that if a game lasts 20 innings, you can watch the first 10 1/2 innings from the bar, leave to watch a movie, then catch the final 3 innings back at the bar? I found that out Saturday night. I also found out that you can play a 6-5 overtime NHL hockey game in less time than it took the Mets and Cardinals to resolve their offensive inefficiencies. That's right, the plodding, low-scoring NHL managed to score 11 goals while the Mets and Cardinals spun an additional 9 scoreless innings. I believe it was around the 10th inning when the Capitals versus Canadiens game kicked off.

All you need to know about the Debacle in St Louis is that the Mets woeful offense managed to scratch out 2 runs on 3 hits in the 18th, 19th, and 20th innings. Of course, those innings were pitched by Cardinals position players, and one of the three hits was by Mets pitcher Raul Valdes in his second career at bat. He was promptly thrown out trying to reach second base when the shortstop's throw sailed wide of first. I guess a win in April is as good as a win in September, even if it took 24 of the 25 players on the active roster and St Louis pretty much conceding the game after about the 14th inning.

The player of the game has to be St Louis' Ryan Ludwick who not only managed to get thrown out trying to score from second on a ground ball to the second baseman, he also managed to get thrown out trying to steal second with Albert Pujols at the plate trailing by a run in the bottom of the 19th. Pujols would promptly double and eventually score the tying run. Reached for comment after the game, a miffed Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa said, "We kept trying to lose the fucking game, that team over there is terrible!"

Stay class Philadelphia

A man, well, a 21 year old boy was arrested after intentionally vomiting on an off-duty police captain and his 11 year old daughter at Wednesday night's Phillies game. When I first read the story I wondered, "Was the game played in Philadelphia or Washington?" Just kidding. You didn't even have to tell me the teams involved and the first place I would have guessed would have been Philly. I read the details of the story on ESPN.

I have to say as an angry drunk who does stupidly inappropriate things nearly every waking moment, this is some level of sophomoric stupidity I just don't understand. Am I just old? I have hazy recollections of being 21 and I never seemed to think of vomit being an appropriate retaliation for anything! For cripes sakes man, have a little self respect and dignity! Just wait 7 years until the daughter is 18 and impressed with your ability to buy beer, then have sex with her and never call her again. Amateur.

Hockey playoffs started!!!!

Four series began last night. ESPN's experts weighed in on each series. Let's see what they said and what transpired.

4 Pittsburgh versus 5 Ottawa

First of all, fuck Pittsburgh. They did the same fucking thing last year where they failed to win enough games to sew up the two seed which would lead to a potential Eastern Conference Finals pitting Crosby against Ovechkin. Anyway, according to Scott Burnside, the Penguins have too much depth at center and their goaltending is too good. Before the series started, he predicted Pittsburgh in 6. Game 1? 5-4 Ottawa.

2 New Jersey versus 7 Philadelphia

New Jersey ACTUALLY won the Atlantic division, earning the 2 seed and (theoretically) avoiding Washington until the conference finals. According to Pierre LeBrun, you should never bet against Martin Brodeur in a 7 game series, and in fact sees New Jersey prevailing in 7 games. Game 1? 2-1 Philadelphia.

4 Phoenix versus 5 Detroit

Pierre LeBrun picks the Wings. Of COURSE he picks the Wings. You always pick the Wings. They always fucking win. It would be boring except their teams are so damned awesome year after year. Their stars weren't quite as good as years past, they dealt with some injury problems, and Lidstrom finally started looking old, but after the Olympic break no team in hockey won more games. Phoenix is a nice story of a decent hockey team struggling in a stupid market that has no business hosting an NHL team. But hey they won enough games to lock up the 4 seed, something they only did one other time since the playoffs switched to their current format back in '93-'94. It was fun while it lasted but let's let the real hockey teams on through. Game 1? 3-2 Phoenix.

1 San Jose versus 8 Colorado

San Jose is ALWAYS the top seed. They ALWAYS lose. It's just one of those things. It couldn't possibly happen again, could it? Not with Dany Heatley adding to the scoring punch. Not matched up against a reeling Colorado team who surprised everyone just making the playoffs but struggled mightily since the Olympic break. The San Jose team is too deep, too talented, and too experienced. Scott Burnside certainly think so, he picked the Sharks in 5 games. Game 1? Uh, I guess the Sharks will win 4 straight because Colorado took it 2-1.

So there you have it. Four series predictions from ESPN and four supposed upsets in game 1. At least they're consistent!

About last night

Well, the dream of a perfect season ended in Flushing last night, as the Mets fell to the Marlins 7-6 in 10 innings. On the bright side, the Mets rallied from a 6-1 deficit to tie the game in the 7th and 8th innings. On the down side, they really didn't do much except walk to the plate and fall asleep on their feet as the Marlins bullpen issued 6 walks, hit a batter, and let the tying run score on a bases loaded balk. To be fair to Leo Nunez, the game-tying balk was a bullshit call, but that might have just been the umpire punishing him for refusing to throw strikes.

For me the highlight of the game was Jason Bay's nice running catch in left field putting to rest for at least one night the fear he couldn't handle Citi Field's cavernous outfield. He ran a long fucking way to track that sucker down. The lowlight was easily Fernando Tatis getting thrown out at home trying to score on a passed ball with the bases loaded and two outs. David Wright was at the plate with a chance to give the Mets the lead. I guess he was just trying to save David the embarrassment of failing to come through in the clutch. Uh, thanks?

Screw the AL!

Sure they have better teams, and more talent, and slaughter the senior circuit in interleague play, but that doesn't make them any more fun to watch! You know who agrees with me? The umpires! Poor Joe West actually had to stand there and pay attention to all three games and he wasn't happy about it. "It's pathetic and embarrassing. They take too long to play."

I've long suggested that baseball's image crisis is partly related to the media's insistence on designating Red Sox versus Yankees as the best match-up in the game just because they generally have the best players. I call bullshit! Even the more likable characters in the plot such as the Red Sox David Ortiz will wander out of the box to take a leak, have a chat with the crowd, and sip some steroids-laced tea between pitches. For fuck's sake man, I know you're going to strike out, you know you're going to strike out, everyone knows you're going to strike out (except Terry Francona of course), at least stay in the box and be quick about it!

When ugly is beautiful

The result was predictable, the game was anything but. The UConn women's unstoppable basketball powerhouse won its second consecutive championship, its 7th overall, and ran its unprecedented winning streak to 78 games. The foe was a familiar one, a Stanford Cardinal team that has met the Huskies in three consecutive Final Fours and holds the distinction of being the last team to emerge victorious. No slouches themselves, the Cardinals would be working on a tidy 59 game winning streak of their own if not for the pesky girls from Storrs. The two premier teams in the game whose combined 1 loss (and 0 to teams other than each other) was the fewest combined losses entering a championship game in history. Of course if you didn't know any of this you might have thought ESPN was airing a random high school girls basketball game when the halftime score sat at 20-12. 12!!!! This is the team that had annihilated every opponent by double digits for 77 consecutive games, and they had 12 points at halftime! In the previous 5 games of the tournament, they had surpassed 12 points by the 6 minute mark of each game. In the 25ish or so years Geno Auriemma has coached the team, the 12 points tied a record of ineptitude. After a tidy 26-7 spurt to start the second half, the Huskies found themselves in control and held on down the stretch. It was the lowest scoring national title game in history, but it still counts in the record books. Maya Moore won most outstanding player honors and deservedly so, but Tina Charles defense cannot be understated. All in all both teams played with grittiness and guts and all sorts of other adjectives you attach to shitty games when the play itself was so awful you need to justify talking about it afterward. Oh well, at least it was more exciting than the fucking Red Sox/Yankees game.

Opening day running diary!

That's right boys and girls, yesterday was opening day for the Mets, and as such I shirked my duties at work to listen to the game and record the fun. Unless you're a coworker, in which case I worked diligently all afternoon. We pick it up just before opening pitch.

For the record, I’ll be leaving at some point in the later innings, so hopefully I’ll be turning off a Mets blowout victory. Here are your starting lineups, starting with the Marlins:

Coghlan, LF
Maybin, CF
Ramirez, H, SS
Cantu, 3B
Uggla, 2B
Paulino, R, C (there's apparently more than one Paulino!)
Ross, C, RF
Sanchez, G, 1B
Johnson, J, P

Today's starting pitcher for the Marlins, Josh Johnson, has never lost to the Mets in his career.

Cora, SS
Castillo, L, 2B
Wright, 3B
Jacobs, 1B
Bay, LF
Matthews, CF (I KNEW Pagan was too good to start. Fucking Manuel)
Francoeur, RF
Barajas, C
Santana, J, P

The Mets lost their first 8 opening day games. Since then they are 31-9 far and away the most successful opening day team since their inception in 1962. True story.

- Top of the 1st -

1:11 – Started with a strike! Start measuring those fingers for rings! 1-1, fuck it, I give up

1:12 – Well the first batter of the season pops out to third. Howie Rose is explaining to us how Santana had offseason elbow surgery so (a) he sucked last year because his elbow hurt and (b) he might suck this year because he’s coming off surgery.

1:14 – I’m clapping in my office for the strikeout. It’s possible I’m too excited for baseball season. STRUCK HIM OUT!!! WOO!! Maybe I should close my office door. Or do work. Nahhhhhh

1:15 – 1, 2, 3 inning. Hey, 8 more of those and the worst we have is a tie!

- Bottom of the 1st -

1:18 – Alex Cora leads off for the Mets. That’s like all the excitement and fun of Jose Reyes, but the exact opposite. Sweet.

1:19 – Hey, leadoff batter gets nicked by an inside pitch and he gets first base! Let’s hope this isn’t the high point of the season.

1:20 – Well Castillo grounds into a fielder’s choice but beats out the throw to first to avoid the double play. Just two more years and $12 million left on that contract. At least he sucks at defense.

1:22 – HOME RUN DAVID WRIGHT! Hahahahaha. An opposite field line drive. Jebus. They already dowsed that excitement. He did the same thing last year on his way to a career low 10 home runs. 2-0 Mets.

1:23 – Mike Jacobs strikes out. Just kidding. He just took strike one.

1:24 – Mike Jacobs strikes out. I mean it this time. Here comes Jason Bay to strike out. I hate this lineup with Jacobs in it.

1:26 – Two strike single to left field! Sweet, I love this lineup!

1:27 – Gary Matthews Jr pops out to the catcher in foul territory. I forgot he was batting 6th. Ugh. 2-0 Mets after 1.

- Top of the 2nd -

1:31 – Jorge Cantu pops out to the catcher in foul territory. I guess he was impressed with how well it worked out for Matthews.

1:32 – Dan Uggla grounds out to Wright at third. Wright’s defense is a little overrated. His Ultimate Zone Rating (basically his ability to turn balls hit into his area into outs) was a woeful -10.4 (I believe 0.0 is average). He did have two above average seasons in ’08 and ’09 so maybe his power struggles were related to an injury that also hurt him defensively.

1:34 – Matthews tracks down a ball in the gap for the third out. Hey, maybe he’s NOT the worst defensive centerfielder playing? I know, I know, sample size.

- Bottom of the 2nd -

1:37 – Francoeur just saw his 5th pitch of his at bat. That must be a record. Or he’s still asleep. He grounds out to third on pitch 6. Still, that at bat has to be considered a win for him, as far as outs go.

1:40 – Barajas flies out to shallow center. The catchers are terrible offensively this year. Hopefully they are as good defensively as advertised.

1:41 – Santana grounds out to first. Well, we don’t want him tiring himself out running the bases anyway. No that is NOT a defense of the DH. Dick. 2-0 Mets after 2.

- Top of the 3rd -

1:43 – Cora just made a sprawling stop to get Cody Ross leading off the inning. Ross apparently has a calf strain. It sounds like something Reyes would have been able to reach standing. Get well soon Jose!

1:48 – Gaby Sanchez singles up the middle after a lengthy at bat where he fouled off a bunch of pitches. Not what you’re looking for against the #8 hitter.

1:50 – Johnson sacrifices Sanchez to second. Well, at least Santana didn’t walk him. It was a little sketchy there for a minute.

1:52 – Coghlan pops out to Jacobs in foul territory who doesn’t drop the ball or fall down trying to catch it. So he’s better than Mo Vaughn? My mom laughed at that.

- Bottom of the 3rd -

1:56 – Cora grounds out to the pitcher. I think that’s the extent of his power.

1:58 – Castillo works out a walk. That’s better than last at bat!

1:59 – Castillo steals second! It's a dangerous play because you don’t want to run into outs with Wright up. Until he falls apart, I guess.

2:04 – Wright works out a walk. It was a great at bat. Too bad Jacobs is going to strike out.

2:06 – Jacobs strikes out. Yep, you can’t make this up.

2:10 – Bay strikes out. This is going to happen a lot, especially with Jacobs and Bay back to back. 2-0 Mets after 3.

- Top of the 4th -

2:13 – Santana strikes out Maybin. According to the announcers he is just over-matched by Santana’s change up. I like hearing things like this.

2:15 – Single for Hanley Ramirez. Cora had no chance but Reyes might have, I assume from what I saw on the radio.

2:17 – Ramirez steals second. Damn, I was hoping that wouldn’t happen as much this year with these catchers.

2:21 – Cantu walks. The pitch count is rising…

2:23 – Matthews catches a ball in the gap and then lazily throws it back in allowing both runners to advance. At least he made the catch?

2:24 – Paulino pops out to shallow center. This game might be decided by the bullpens.

- Bottom of the 4th -

2:30 – We join this inning already in progress. Jeff Francoeur just walked. I hope I didn’t die taking a leak. I don’t want to be discovered holding my cock.

2:33 – Barajas popped to shallow center and the ball drops in front of Maybin. We’ll go ahead and call that a lucky hit. Bases loaded, apparently Matthews got on base. Good for you Gary!

2:34 – Santana pops out. Well he’s probably pissed, but at least he didn’t hit into a double play. 1 out.

2:34 – Cora lines into a double play. Bases loaded, nobody out…0 runs. Hey, nice lineup you’ve got there Jerry! 2-0 after four.

- Top of the 5th -

2:37 – Cody Ross pops out to Castillo to lead off the fifth. Keep those at bats short and outs Florida!

2:42 – Sanchez flies out to right. Pitcher coming up. Let’s make this a quick inning Johan!

2:43 – 3 pitch strike out. Nice, quick inning. Maybe he’ll be able to pitch into the 7th?

- Bottom of the 5th -

2:46 – Castillo grounds out to short.

2:47 – Wright lines out sharply to third. He knocked over the thirdbaseman who held onto the ball. That’ll learn you for making David out! Mmmm…making out with David…wait, what?

2:48 – Jacobs is coming up to strike out. I lied, he popped out weakly to second in far and away his most productive at bat of the game. I think I hate the Mike Jacobs era. Get well soon Murph! 2-0 Mets after 5.

- Top of the 6th -

2:50 – Coghlan singles to lead off the 6th.

2:55 – Still a runner on first after a visit from a coworker. What did I miss?

2:56 – Coghlan steals second. Barajas never even got a grip on the ball to throw it. Overall I’m unimpressed with the quality of his base stealing prevention. By the way, there’s 1 out. Er, 2 outs. Ramirez strikes out. Oh, he struck out Maybin, too. 2 outs, runner on second.

2:59 – Double for Cantu to drive in the run. 2-1. Close play at second base where Cantu was called safely. The throw beat the runner and Castillo apparently missed the tag. Hey, only 2 years and $12 million left on that contract!

3:00 – The crowd boos as replays show Cantu was out.

3:03 – Unintentional intentional walk. Uggla didn’t cooperate by swinging at ball four. What a dick. 100 pitches for Santana. I guess no pitching in the 7th.

3:05 – Paulino flies out to center. Santana’s day is probably done. That was harder than it had to be. Thanks, ump.

- Bottom of the 6th -

3:09 – Bay leads off with a triple! Hey, welcome to Citi Field Jason! That would have been a single at Fenway.

3:11 – Matthews walks. First and third, nobody out. I’m guessing they don’t score. The Marlins pull Johnson. That can only help the Mets.

3:15 – Francoeur hits a sacrifice fly to center, Bay scores easily. 3-1 Mets. Hey, they didn’t completely fuck it up!

3:17 – Pickoff attempt gets thrown into the dugout, Matthews gets second. And Barajas follows with a double to straightaway center to score Matthews. Wow, that’s like exactly the opposite of fucking it up! 4-1 Mets.

3:18 – Pagan pinch hits for Santana and drives in Barajas with a single. 5-1 Mets to bring up the top of the order and another pitching change for the Marlins. Wow, it’s like I knew what I was talking about!

And on that note, I have to retire. I’ll listen to a little more of the game, but hopefully it will be over before I get back to it.


The game was over before I could get back to it, but the Mets bullpen turned in 3 scoreless innings after I turned off the game and they won going away 7-1. That officially makes April 5, 2010 the first and (potentially) last day the Mets have a better record than the Yankees. No game Tuesday so I still don't get to find out if the move to DirecTV will result in me being able to actually WATCH the games.

Rebecca Lobo asks questions!

She holds a video camera and asks you five questions. Geno may or may not drop a "fuck" in there when referring to his future grandchild. I hope he said "fuck" since I saw this on ESPN and they are owned by Disney and I always like to associate Disney with cursing. I think it's Nancy Kerrigan's fault.

Denard Span hates his mother

Twins outfielder Denard Span fouled off a Phil Hughes pitch, immediately dropped his bat and ran over to the stands as you can see here. Turns out he had just smashed a foul ball into his mother's chest. Unfortunately since it was a spring training game, there are no slow motion replays of ball impacting rib cage from 47 different angles. Instead here is a nice sliding catch Span made against the Royals last (?) year.

Your daily injury report

Daily is obviously a term I will be using loosely. Anyway firstbaseman Daniel Murphy sprained his knee in a rundown Tuesday afternoon. That ups the count to three starting position players who will begin the season the disabled list, joining centerfielder Carlos Beltran and shortstop Jose Reyes. I'll try not to be pessimistic before the season even starts, but it's sure starting to smell like 2009 all over again. Murphy led the team with 12 (!!!) home runs in 2009 and OH MY DOG I LOVE THIS PICTURE!



The final decision has yet to be made, but it looks like the Mets will start Alex Cora who can't hit or play defense over Ruben Tejada who can't hit but is an excellent defender at short. They will start Mike Jacobs who can't hit or play defense over Frank Catalanotto who can't hit but plays okay defense and Chris Carter who can't play defense but he's better than Jacobs and at least he can hit plus he wrote the fucking X-Files at first. Right now it looks like they may start the awesomely named Angel Pagan in centerfield over Gary Matthews Jr which doesn't make a damned lick of sense since Pagan is far and away the superior hitter and fielder.