Maybe you're just kind of a dick

Dany Heatley has requested a trade from the Ottawa Senators. As the article outlines, it will be difficult to trade Heatley because 4 seasons remaining on his 6 year, $45 million contract. What you may not know is that Heatley was a promising young star for the Atlanta Thrashers earlier this decade before killing a teammate by driving his Ferrari too fast and losing control of the car.

You know what? In life you're going to fuck up sometimes. It happens and you just hope no one gets hurt in the process. If you fuck up and someone dies, you lose a little bit of your leverage. When your excuse is, "But I haven't killed anyone in 6 years," the six years is not the important part of the statement. Sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal with the fact that you don't get along with your coach. Suck it up and dry your tears on your millions of dollars and all the coked up hookers it can buy.

Victory!

Holy crap I told you the Penguins had frickin missiles! For the first time since 1971 the road team won game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Maxime Talbot scored both goals in a 2-1 victory. Who the hell is Maxime Talbot? Fucked if I know! Some guy with way better facial hair than Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin. Crosby didn't even make it through the game, crumpling to the ice after a check led to a knee injury. Goalie Marc-Andre Fleury played spectacular including a diving, sprawling save as time expired. The hero of the series is Detroit's Marion Hossa, who turned down a more lucrative offer from the Penguins to sign with Detroit because they had a better chance of winning the cup. Hahahahaha!