U! C! O! N! N!

The UConn men pushed their way into the final eight of the NCAA tournament by beating a stubborn Purdue team. The game followed a very definite pattern of UConn leaping to a double digit lead then letting up on their defensive intensity and allowing the Boilermakers to claw back into the game. My observations of the game, in no particular order, are as follows:

1. The officials, whether consciously or not, are racist. When given the opportunity to whistle a white guy or a black guy for a foul, the black guy got hosed every time.

2. The officials were too confused on exactly which category Gavin Edwards fell into, so they whistled him for fouls constantly to keep him off the floor and have a very clear white/black option when they blew the whistle.

3. CBS was threatening someone's kitten after the teams sprinted through a brisk first half in under 30 minutes. The first 5 minutes of the second half took nearly 15 minutes.

4. I made all those numbers up but it sure felt like it!

5. Those Boilermaker uniforms are some kind of awful. That's not actually my observation but it warrants mentioning.

6. Chris Kramer sure keeps his hair nicely coiffed for a basketball player.

Fucking Florida man

People always wonder why I'd never want to live in Florida. Besides the oppressive heat and mosquitoes the size of Hyundais, there are stories like this one. If you're at all like me, the first thing that leaps out at you is that 20 year old Pirates prospect Jose Tabata is married to a 43 year old woman! I mean fleecing stupid people out of their children happens all the time, it's how I save money on cat food, but marrying a woman over twice your age? Yikes, that's just weird.

Mugshot courtesy of http://tbo.com

It's Tanguay time!

Alex is not tangy he's tang-gay and he proves it against alleged NHL defenders in last night's clash between Atlanta and Montreal. You can almost hear Chris Berman scream "Whoop!" with each successive move before Barry Melrose pummels him into unconsciousness with a hockey stick.

Johan to the rescue!

With the inconsistent Oliver Perez shouldering a heavy workload in the World Baseball Classic and the "man I wish that guy was as consistent as Ollie Perez" John Maine struggling to return from shoulder surgery (try saying that 5 times fast), the Mets starting pitching rotation was starting to look a little thin beyond Johan Santana and the potential of Mike Pelfrey. Then came the news in late February that Johan had some discomfort in his elbow and danger sirens started sounding everywhere. 30 year old pitchers with elbow problems and 6 years, $137.5 million remaining on their contracts tend to be something of an anchor weighing down a pitching staff, especially when the lineup behind your ace looks like this:



But in this article in the New York Post, we hear that Johan is pitching pain free and using all of his pitches, a sign that he is raring to go come opening day a scant 2 weeks away. Somehow, and maybe this is just me, this image inspires more confidence:

Maybe we should rethink this WBC thing

As far as I can tell in my 12 seconds of research, the US is going to LA for the semifinals of the World Baseball Classic with exactly one position player on the bench. Hey, now that sounds like a good idea. David Wright fouled a ball off his toe, dropping him to his knees in the first inning of the meaningless game last night against Venezuela. He crawled around in agony, a fact the US trainers willfully ignored because if no one tends to him he can't be injured and there's no other third basemen on the roster so suck it up you fucking pansy! In all seriousness, the US is pulled hamstring away from being entirely unable to field a team in LA and being forced to forfeit. I'm thinking the injury substitution rules may need to be tweaked before they play another one of these things.

(Doug Benc/Getty Images)

I think the Mets would do well in the WBC

Last night the US eliminated Puerto Rico and moved into the semifinals of the World Baseball Classic but that's not important. No team sent more players to the WBC than the Mets, and last night's game featured past and (hopefully) future All Stars Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, David Wright, and J.J. (it rhymes with PUTS) Putz. ALL would deliver on the night. Delgado crushed a home run to center field to tie the game at 3. Beltran leapt and took a home run away from Brian McCann to keep the game tied at 3. With Puerto Rico leading by a run in the 8th, Putz retired future hall of fame lock* Ivan Rodriguez, superstar Beltran, and future hall of fame lock* Delgado in order, the last two on strikeouts. I'm sure that'll be a fun conversation in the clubhouse when they all reunite after the classic is over. Anyway, after Phillie J.C. Romero loaded the bases with 1 out, Kevin Youkilis walked to bring David to the plate with the winning on second. With the count in his favor, Wright deliver a soft line drive to right field, much to Jerry Manuel's delight I'm sure, and the US mobbed Wright at second. Don't hurt him, don't hurt my David! I want him nice and strong for the celebration after the World Series when I tie him up in my basement with whips and chains and, wait, what?



* Lock pending steroids investigations

It's March Madness baby!

It's time for everyone's favorite tournament! No, not that one, the World Baseball Classic! Intensity was high as literally dozens of people flocked to Dolphin Stadium to watch the United States take on the Netherlands in an elimination game. The winner would earn the right to get walloped, er face, the loser of tonight's Puerto Rico verus Venezuela game. The US clung to a slim 8-1 lead in the 8th inning when the Americans felt Bryan Engelhardt admired his home run a little too long. Alleged Major Leaguer Matt Lindstrom threw behind the next batter, Vince Rooi, raising the ire of the mighty Dutch. Bad words were shouted in Lindstrom's general direction while former Major League pitcher and Dutch pitching coach Bert Blylyven milled about and looked confused. Lindstrom bravely hid behind his catcher before departing with a sore shoulder. The US prevailed 9-3 and will likely play one more game as their hopes rest on the wimpy left arm of Ted Lilly.

Big East men's tournament update

Let's take a gander at the updated bracket to see where things stand in the Big East tournament.


Ah fuck it. Instead let's check out Fransisco Rodriguez after striking out Kevin Youkilis to end pool play between the US and Venezuela last night. Here is an image I hope to see, albeit in a different uniform, quite often this season.

That was predictable

Top ranked and presumptive champion UConn added yet another Big East championship notch to their ratty-looking belt last night, slaughtering 5th (!!!) ranked Louisvilled 75-36 in a game that wasn't nearly as close as the final score indicated. Everything you need to know about the game can be summed up in two simple fact. First, I turned the game on several minutes into the second half, and watched several minutes before Louisville scored their first point of the half on a free throw just over 8 minutes in. Honestly, I was disappointed. I was rooting for the shutout. Second, when All-American Maya Moore left the game with about 8 minutes to go, she had outscored Louisvilled to that point 28-27. Thanks to the quirkiness of the scheduling, UConn will not get a chance for their third undefeated season for another two weeks.

The Eagles hate Facebook too

I was going to write a scathing post killing the Eagles for firing an employee over his Facebook status until I read the article over on ESPN. The former employee posted his status as "Dan is [expletive] devastated about Dawkins signing with Denver ... Dam Eagles R Retarted!!" After reading the story I realized the Eagles were perfectly justified in their actions. It's called fucking grammar Dan, you learned it in second grade now fucking use it! Personally I think you got off easy. Using grammar like that should relegate you to the role of tackling dummy for the linebacking corps. Now here is a totally pointless picture of cheerleader Amy whose favorite player may or may not have once been Brian Dawkins.

Hockey is dangerous

Red Wings star Marian Hossa, meet Blues defenseman Roman Polak.



Let this be a lesson to you kiddies. When a 6'1" 200 lb guy is about to slam into you, don't try and turn your back to get a call. Yikes!

WOW, that went FAR!

Freddy Garcia is auditioning for the 5th spot in the Mets rotation. Let's check in on his progress during yesterday's spring training game against the Cardinals.



Hey, you know what doesn't work? 83 MPH fastballs down the heart of the plate. Rumor has it Garcia will be released before opening day.

That was quick

"You know what Plax? You shoot yourself in the leg and fuck up our delicate camaraderie in the locker room? We don't need that shit. Just go home. We can with without you!"

Oops.

"Plax, come back! We love you man!"