I'd say that was effective

When the Mets built their 2 game lead in early September this year, I mentioned that the bullpen was still in disarray. Let's be honest here, it was their Achilles heel all season and proved to be the portion that contributed the most to the second place finish. With all world closer Billy Wagner (the motherfucker) shelved for 2009 following Tommy John surgery, the Mets were desperate to address the problem this offseason. I'm going to go ahead and say they accomplished their goal. Scroll down to the AL pitching reserves from the 2007 All Star game. Notice anything about that lineup? I'll give you a hint, if you count up from the bottom, by the time you get to 5 you'll have counted the Mets ace, their new closer, and their new set up man. Fuck and yes! The team sigined record setting closer Frankie "K-Rod" Rodriguez, and traded middling prospects and 2 members of last year's failed bullpen for J.J. "It's pronounced like 'puts'" Putz. Barring injury, apathy, or a mysterious loss of effectiveness, the Mets could well have upgraded from one of the worst bullpens in baseball to one of the very best.

Things that happened Monday more interesting than a football game

Check out the highlights from last night's Rutgers versus Georgia clash in women's college basketball! Actually, don't. I tend to be a defender of women's basketball in general, but I'm probably spoiled watching a UConn team that averages more points per game than those two scored COMBINED in a horrible matchup of teams unable to put the ball through the hoop. The lowlight of the game was a Georgia possession that featured the team passing the ball back and forth around the three point line until the shotclock buzzer sounded and the team meekly went back to defense having never once glanced in the direction of the hoop.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Buffalo and Pittsburgh met in a fun affair that featured wild end-to-end rushes and Buffalo taking three consecutive pairs of penalties to give Pittsburgh a 5 on 3 advantage spanning the end of the first period and beginning of the second. When asked why his team chose to spend that much time down two men coach Lindy Ruff scoffed, "We knew the couldn't score anyway." Actually, that's not true at all. But Pittsburgh did spend most of their powerplay time imitating the Georgia women's basketball team, leaving the door open for Buffalo's exciting third period comeback. Check out this play from Evgeni Malkin leading to Pittsburgh's first goal. Just for the record, you can't do that.

I have a new offensive strategy for the Giants

CATCH the fucking ball! Hey look, scientists have uncovered Domenik Hixon's hands!


I kid, I kid. Hixon has overall displayed excellent pass-catching abilities during his time with the Giants, but that drop early in the second quarter against the Eagles set the tone for what was an overall disappointing performance against an inferior opponent. The Giants will look to re-establish their dominance in the NFC East on Sunday against Tony Romo and the Cowboys, whose owner just called out star running-back Marion Barber's toughness. Way to fire up the troops Jerry!

Your friday question of the day

How the fuck did games against Seattle and San Fransisco magically heal the Cowboys offensive line? Tony Romo comes back and all of a sudden all is right with the world! Never mind that the Boys modest three game winning streak came against the Seahawks, Niners, and overrated Redskins. Remember Romo running for his life every game? He was like a prettier, smarter, less robotic Ben Roethlisberger. The Dallas struggles without Romo weren't solely due to the collective ineptitude of Brad Johnson and Brooks Bollinger. Their offensive line is fat, unathletic, and generally uninterested in blocking. Against inferior defenses in blowout victories, Dallas rushed for a combined 190 yards the past two weeks. What are they going to do against Pittsburgh when Romo drops back to pass 30-something times? I actually look forward Big Ben running onto the field after a particularly brutal Romo sack, opening up the access panel to his innards and asking, "You need spleen? Science man give Ben three!"

Weekly round up

So plenty of interesting stories have been ignored by yours truly this week. For starters, Plaxico Burress has been told to just go home. It is a sad end to the Giants career for the man who may well be the most talented receiver to ever strap on the pads for Big Blue. It turns out that he is kind of a douche bag. From what I understand had Burress just been your average clubgoer, he probably would have been able to get away without jail time. Since Mayor Bloomberg decided to make an example out of him, it will be almost impossible for Burress to avoid the slammer. On the bright side, it will be much harder for Plax to shoot himself in the leg on the inside.

Quickly, in a story that absolutely no one cares about, the Houston Comets of the WNBA folded earlier this week. The Comets won the first four WNBA championships, led by Cynthia Cooper who won the league's first two MVPs. The WNBA will probably survive the current economic crisis, but it is a testament to how much trouble any pro league that is not the NFL, MLB, or NBA faces right now.

In another story no one cares about, I saw something in a hockey game that I've never ever seen before. Ryan Malone of the Tampa Bay Lightning blocked a shot from a Philadelphia defenseman and sprung himself on a breakaway in the waning seconds of a tie game. As he made his move a hockey glove came flying across the screen. My jaw dropped, which created something of a mess as I was brushing my teeth at the time. An NHL player had actually thrown a piece of equipment at a guy on a breakaway. That is an automatic penalty shot, giving Malone a free chance at essentially ending the game right then and there. Of course the goalie bailed out his player, Malone ended up taking a penalty in overtime that led to the game-winning power play goal, but still, HE THREW HIS FUCKING GLOVE!

And finally, in somewhat sad and amusing news, the talented but troubled Sean Avery, former Vogue intern, managed to talk his way right out of the league. Avery has been suspended indefinitely after musing before Tuesday night's game against Calgary about Flames' star Dion Phaneuf's relationship with Avery's ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert. In a pre-game interview Avery walked over to a group of reporters and said, "I'm really happy to be back in Calgary; I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about, but enjoy the game tonight." Awesome. Avery will probably get another shot in the NHL someday because he is just too talented not to, but he managed to cost himself millions along the way. Good for you, Sean, good for you.

Now, to make this all worthwhile...Elisha Cuthbert!

Monday traditions

I have a new favorite tradition. I come into work, I futz around for a couple of hours, then I go search out a coworker of mine who is a diehard Giants fan, we high five and discuss the latest Giants victory. 3 or 4 weeks in a row now, he has claimed "I thought the game would be closer."

Once again, I am impressed with Manning's performance. On a windy, rainy day he threw for over 300 yards without his supposed top receiver. In perhaps the oddest story of the year, Plaxico Burress accidentally shot himself in the leg. According to reports, Burress had the weapon tucked into the waistline of his pants gansta style with a round in the chamber and the safety off. When the gun fell inside his pants, Burress reached to grab it and pulled the trigger. Kudos to you Mr. Burress, please pick up your Darwin award on your way out of the city.

My game ball goes to Shawn Springs of the Washington Redskins who absolutely torpedoed DeAngelo Hall on a sure interception early in the third quarter. I'm surprised he didn't get flagged for interfering with a fair catch. Manning floated a wobbler in the general direction of Domenik Hixon. Hall was camped underneath it waiting for it to come down before Springs slammed into him to allow the pass to fall incomplete.