Well that was an upset

The Steelers came from behind last night to beat the Ravens 23-20 in overtime, but that was not the upset. In fact, I'm pretty sure the Steelers were favored by more than 3 points, but a solid Ravens team covering the spread was not the upset. The Steelers had four players leave the game last night with injuries, at least two of whom are done for the year, and NONE of them were Ben Roethlisberger. Now THAT'S an upset.

In lighter news

Co-owner of the Carolina Hurricanes Thomas Thewes has passed away from a two year bought with leukemia. That's what you get for moving the Whalers to North Carolina, fucker! That's what people do there! They fuck their relatives and they die of cancer! I kid, I kid, I don't really wish death on anyone, except of course for the people who stole the Whalers. Oh snap, cancer's got my back, bitch!

Awesome

I read this over on the Shutdown Corner this morning. I touched on this briefly before, but for all his talent Burress is something of a douche bag. The Shutdown Corner guys summed it up far better than I ever could, but needless to say I am unimpressed by Burress' attitude after signing a new, fat contract. I wonder if anyone told him that nothing in the NFL is guaranteed? It's tough for me as a Giants fan because on the field the guy gives it his all on almost every play. Like most prima donna receivers, he is sometimes disinterested in blocking, but he runs his routes hard, has improved his hands considerably, and is a weapon opposing teams have to game plan for every week. I gained a lot of respect for Burress for gutting it out on a noticeably hampered ankle last season, but I have a hard time rooting for someone who works less at his job than I do. Now if you'll excuse me, someone left a Guinness in the office fridge and I think I can find it a good home.

Well that was a waste of time

161 games and almost exactly a year later, the Mets find themselves in the exact same position they held last year. Couldn't they have just played one game at the beginning of April and saved us this whole mess? Johan Santana pitched a masterful game, throwing a three-hit shutout on three days rest to help the Mets pull into a tie for the wild card lead with the Milwaukee Brewers. Ben Sheets did his part by lasting less than 3 innings for the Brewers as they fell to the Cubs 7-3. Playing the role of Tom Glavine this year is Oliver Perez, who has fittingly given up at least 4 runs in 3 of his last 4 starts, two of which he failed to pitch 5 innings. Playing the role of the Florida Marlins this year is the Florida Marlins, who have made no secret of their desire to knock the Mets out of the playoffs again.

I'm singing in the rain!

Well, actually it sounds more like a cat in distress. Once again the Mets close the season at home against the Marlins. And once again, the Mets seem intent on letting the fish knock them out of the playoffs. A solid combination of ineffective starting pitching, weak hitting with men on base, poor defense, and typical bullpen ineptitude let to a 6-1 defeat. The game got off to an inauspicious start when two batters into the game the Marlins had taken a 1-0 lead. Today's matchup pits my pessimism versus Mother Nature. Let it rain, baby, you can't lose games you don't play. Right? RIGHT?

It's all fun and games until you make an angry man cry

Oh sure, it's funny, but that doesn't make it hurt less.

Weeeee!

Last night the roller coaster started its slow climb back up after the gut-wrenching fall from the night before. Of course the barrel-rolling twisty section in the middle didn't do any wonders for my stomach. Don't these guys know how much I drink? Pedro Martinez battled through 6 tough innings last night in a steady rain, leaving with the game tied at 3 in the top of the 7th after letting the first two runners reach base. Following what could have been his final appearance on the mound at Shea, the Mets fans gave Petey a rousing ovation, which he acknowledged with a tip of the cap and a wave to the crowd. Of course, the love fest lasted all of one pitch, which reliever Ricardo Rincon saw deposited in the Mets bullpen for the go ahead three run homer. You know why!

But this Mets team is a different team from yesterday. Literally different from the night before. Ramon Hernandez (I don't know who he is either) and backup catcher Robinson Cancel came through with huge two out hits to tie the game in the bottom of the 8th, thanks in no small part to an imaginative slide from Ryan Church and a generous interpretation of "in the baseline" from the home plate umpire. Carlos Beltran's screaming line drive up the first base line ticked off the firstbaseman's glove in the bottom of the 9th to drive in the winning run and everyone exhaled. Kudos to the Mets for grinding out a victory against a Cubs team that started at least two regulars including pitcher Rich Harden. Sure very few of those players would actually make the postseason roster for Chicago, but the important part is the dream is still alive!

Next up for the Mets in their desperate kick for the finish line, their toughest opponent yet! Mother Nature! It started raining during last night's game and according to most weather reports it won't stop until Sunday. That means the Mets will have to scramble to get their final series against the Marlins played. Could baseball's first triple-header in over a century (if ever) get played on Sunday? Fuck no. Of course Bud Selig forced the Houston Astros to play "home" games against Chicago in Milwaukee while Hurricane Ike battered their city. I can see a situation where the Mets play a double header on Sunday, a makeup game on Monday that forces a tie with the Brewers, and then a one game playoff Monday evening for the National League wild card. It could happen!

Thoughts on the MVP race

I'm all hopped up on caffeine and hate, so I figured I'd throw my thoughts out there about the NL MVP race. Various names have been tossed out there as to who is the most deserving candidate. There is only one player who should win, but we'll get to that in a little bit.

First up, the midseason pickup candidates:

1. CC Sabathia. This guy has been an absolute monster for Milwaukee and is instrumental for their success in the latter part of this season. The argument against him? Johan Santana. Turns out one pitcher can only do so much, as Johan sports a record of merely 14-7 but has arguably been the third best pitcher in the National League this year behind Brandon Webb and Tim Lincecum.

2. Manny Ramirez. His inclusion in this race fills me with hate. He was, without exaggeration, the LEAST valuable player in the entire American League this year. His impressive offensive numbers aside, this is a man who despite his contributions actually HURT his old team offensively. If you have that kind of free time, you can do the research and find that the Red Sox's offensive output went up more losing Manny than the Dodgers' did by getting him. That is the kind of information you want to hear about your MVP?

Next up, the late-season surge candidates:

3. Carlos Delgado. There was talk earlier in the year of turning Delgado into a full time platoon player, if not cutting him outright. You just cannot award the MVP to a man who was nearly out of a job earlier this season due to his own incompetence. Not to mention on his own team Delgado ranks somewhere behind Jose Reyes, David Wright, Carlos Beltran and possibly even Johan Santana.

4. Ryan Howard. This guy was terrible early in the year. Just awful. All the talk is "Howard has put the Phillies on his back and is carrying them on their late season charge to the playoffs." What no one seems to be saying is "If only Howard had been hitting at least as well as Carlos Delgado the Phillies would have clinched the division 3 weeks ago." That earns a hearty thumbs down from this guy.

The only real deserving candidate:

5. Albert Pujols. This guy almost single-handedly kept a less talented St Louis team in contetion far longer than they had any right to expect. His offensive numbers are right up there with the other guys, and he's also a premier defensive first baseman. Of candidates 1-4, only Sabathia's fielding could be rated higher than atrocious. Oh yeah, this is a guy who might need Tommy John surgery this offseason. The argument against Pujols seems to be the Cardinals are currently in 4th place in the NL Central. To that I say based on my own awesomely awesome observations, here are the approximate dates each of the other three contenders' teams would have clinched division if you traded their MVP candidate straight up for Albert Pujols:
New York Mets - September 29th. Having Pujols would just have given the bullpen larger leads to blow. He would have clinched the unanimous MVP the last day of the season when he hit 3 home runs to give the Mets the lead then took the ball to pitch the 8th and 9th innings.
Philadelphia Phillies - September 15th. The Mets would have been so far behind by the time they fired Willie that Delgado would have been cut and they'd be trying out rookies at every position except center field, shortstop, and third base.
LA Dodgers - June 27th. Seriously that division would have been wrapped up the All Star break. The NL West was absolute garbage this year.

Maybe it's just brain damage

No one would ever accuse Ben Roethlisberger of being the smartest guy in the world. It is possible that Big Ben's decision to try and stop a Chrysler with his forehead might have had a negative impact on his cognitive ability. It is also possible that his offensive line is just terrible. According to Pat Kirwan on NFL.com, Ben is on pace to get crushed like nobody since David Carr behind the expansion Texans' 2002 offensive line. Now I'm no doctor but I'm guessing that with all his poor brain has been through already, getting this guy hit like a Mets' relief pitcher is probably bad for his long term ability to play quarterback, to say nothing of shoveling Lucky Charms into his mouth. On the bright side, the Steelers play the Ravens this weekend and it's not like they're well known for defense or anything. What's that? Oh.

Oof

Let me take you inside the life of a Mets fan living in Eastern CT without satellite TV. You sit anxiously on the edge of your seat, occasionally chuckling at Jon Stewart's witty antics with former President Clinton, but mostly you make sure to keep sliding your finger around the touchpad of your laptop. See due to the illegality to broadcast Mets games in CT, even though you could have watched the game live on ESPN last night in Uzbekistan, you are relegated to the mlb.com gamecast. You cringe every time you see "In play, run(s)" when the other team is batting. You guess a solo homerun isn't so bad. DAMMIT! Why can't Ollie Perez get that bunt down? Ooo, a walk to Jose Reyes? Ok, we got something going. All right, a walk to Daniel Murphy! Two out rally! Two out rally! Tie game! Zambrano walked in the tying run! Yes! All right Carlos, let's get it done. "In play, run(s)!" YES! Yes! Yeah, baby...how many, how many...GRAND SLAM! Holy crap go Carlos! A little later on, if you're lucky, you'll notified that gamecast has posted a grainy video of the home run. If you're REALLY lucky, it'll even play for you! All right Ollie, got a 4 run lead, just bear down, throw some strikes, let's get this one home. Ok, 1 out single, that's all right, at least you're throwing strikes. No, fucking throw strikes. FUCK! D Lee walked. Come on Ollie, let's get out of this. AUGH! STOP FUCKING WALKING PEOPLE! All right, bases loaded, let's trade an out for a run. "In play, run(s)." Son of a bitch! How can you not get out of the 5th innnig? Fuck, this, you decide to go to hockey. Actually, you probably only do that if you're me.

Fast forward to a room full of sweaty naked men drinking Coors Light. Try not to get too excited. Hey, hey, hey now, bottom of the 9th, game tied at 6, winning run at third, no outs and oh baby, oh baby David Wright and his steely good looks are up! Come on little cell phone, refresh and tell me the good news! Struck out swinging? FUCK! That's all right David, I still love you! Ok, now they have to navigate the twin Carloses. Intentional walk? Well, I guess that makes sense, set up the double play. Intentional walk? All right baby, bases loaded, one out, you can win the game with an out. Come on Ryan Church! Your last name is a place Christians go to pray, you have to come through here, right? Right? Fucking force out at home plate? Fuck. All right, all right, still one more chance. Let's see Ramon Castro come through with two outs. He kind of looks like this guy so it's a forgone conclusion, right? Just need a little bloop single. Strike one. Man, a grand slam would be cool, but a little broken bat dribbler that no one could field works too. Strike two. All right I got a little greedy there, just a solidly hit ground ball in the hole. Nothing too fancy. Strike three! Well fuck, I know where this is headed.

Sure enough the Mets would lose a heart-breaker in 10 innings. A game in which they had a 5-1 lead and then had that incredible 9th inning. They managed to wrestle defeat from the jaws of victory. It's an incredibly difficult loss to take as a fan, especially with Philadelphia getting smoked by Atlanta and Milwaukee winning to draw even in the wild card race. What merely hours before seemed like a shot at the NL East title now feels like the penultimate blow in yet another Septmeber collapse.

Just when I think I'm out they suck me back in!

Love a good Godfather quote in the morning. Last night the Mets turned to their automatic collapse protection in an effort to prevent yet another September collapse. Just when I was coming to terms with the inevitable Johan spun a gem on the mound, going 8 strong innings and actually winning for a change. Behind the strength of Jose Reyes' and David Wright's steely good looks, I mean offense, the Mets held on for a 6-2 win. Most teams would probably find a 4 run lead in the 9th inning pretty comfortable, but Pedro Feliciano decided to give up two hits despite the fact he didn't actually face one of the Cubs' 8 best hitters. Luis Ayala came in to secure the win (this time) and the dream stayed alive for another day.

Last season Plaxico Burress gimped around on a bum ankle. Despite not practicing all season Burress established himself as one of the very best game day receivers. He made a huge deal out of reporting to work this offseason despite his unhappiness with his contract. Just before the season started, the Giants and his agent managed to work out a deal paying Burress as one of the top receivers in the game. I wondered at some point if Burress' success without practice was going to carry over to this season. Monday Plax decided not to show up. He did not tell anyone, he did not respond to efforts to contact him, and this morning coach Coughlin was unipressed with Burress' excuse for his absence. The star receiver was suspended this morning for the next two weeks, which is not as big a punishment as you'd think because the team has a bye this week. Burress will still miss two of his new fat paychecks. Fortunately for Giants fans, that means he will only miss Seahawks game a week from Sunday, and not a game against an actual NFL team. Still, kudos to Burress for proving once again he's just a big a douche as I always thought he was.

Ugh

"Fuck this I'm going home," quoth the author of this blog as Jason Marquis' grand slam sailed into the Mets bullpen. Faster than Jerry Manuel racing to the mound to remove his beleaguered rookie starter I was racing to my car to take me where my scotch is. John Niese pitched adequately through three innings before the wheels came off in the fourth. And by the wheels coming off I mean he gave up a bases-loaded home run to the opposing pitcher. Who bats left-handed! Did you know John Niese throws left-handed? Probably not, so John Niese throws left-handed! When I said Niese looks like a young Barry Zito, that wasn't exactly what I meant. Johan pitches tonight for the Mets, meaning the offense can take the night off. What's that? You mean you can still lose a game 1-0 even with your ace on the mound? Well shhhh, don't tell the bats! They might wake up!

Second verse, same as the first

The Mets bullpen coughed up another lead. It gets tiresome writing the same things over and over, but the same thing keeps happening over and over. The Mets will either turn over a lead to a bullpen that can't hold it or rely on the relievers to keep the game close until the offense can scratch out some runs. Delgado's late two-run home run was rendered meaningless by Atlanta's 4 run explosion in the bottom of the 8th, leaving the Mets struggling into their final week of the season. Another collapse at the hands of Chicago and Florida over the next 7 days and you'll find me at the bottom of a bottle. What's that? I'm already at the bottom of a bottle? Hmmm...well, let everyone be warned. The Mets miss the playoffs this year and it might depress me to the point of sobriety. Hide the women and children.

In less depressing news, the Giants clawed out a victory against a game Cincinnati team and won in overtime. A win is a win, but I was kind of expecting a 30 point blowout. It's really hard not to score more points against those guys. That being said, with Philly taking out Pittsburgh, Washington beating Arizona, and Dallas stomping Green Bay, the NFC East is now a combined 10-2, with the 2 losses coming intradivision. It was suggested to me this morning that the NFL should abandon the idea of awarding a playoff spot to the NFC West winner and just let all 4 NFC East teams in this year if they earn it.

Stay classy Atlanta

Naw, I'm just kidding, get fucked. Seriously, after fighting and clawing through every game over the weekend in Shea, the Braves and their retarded tomahawk chop rolled over and played dead for the Phillies. With three games left to play this season, the Braves are 2-13 against Philadelphia including 0-9 at home. Seriously, you didn't win ONE fucking game at HOME against a division rival? Hey, here's an idea, maybe next year you shouldn't let the Phillies players stay in your houses and fuck your wives! It seems that made them a little too comfortable.

Well this should be fun

For you I mean. Watching me slowly descend into a long depression after yet another late season collapse is becoming an annual event. For whatever reason, the Mets offense decided not to show up to Washington this week. Scoring a total of 2 runs in 2 games is just unacceptable. I'm not sure if Jerry Manuel is going to have to go gangster on the team but an offensive explosion tonight would go a LONG way towards shutting up the talking heads screaming about a repeat collapse.

Oh for fuck's sake!

Pedro did his best audition for a coveted spot in the Mets bullpen by sucking against the Nationals last night. Of course, it doesn't matter how many runs your starters or bullpen yield if your offense fails to generate more than one run against John Lannan. Who? Exactly. After the bullpen gave away two leads over the weekend, and let the game get out of hand last night, the Mets find themselves ahead by a single game in the all-important loss column.

In other news, here is a hilarious interview between Andrea Kramer and Ben Roethlisberger where he refuses to answer questions about his injured shoulder. You could make the case he just didn't want to talk about the injury. Personally I am not entirely sure Big Ben knows what a shoulder is and didn't want to give an answer that would make him look stupid.

DAMMIT!

Fuck you Ben Sheets! Suck on my left nut! That's right motherfucker, you don't even get the good one! That's how little I think of your performance last night! So the Phillies won. In other news, I read here on Metsblog.com that Chipper Jones is heating up just in time for the series at New York. It will be his final "fuck you" to the Mets fans if he can lead a sweep this weekend, Atlanta's final ever visit to Shea, despite the fact his team really sucks this year.

Good thing they play in a pitcher's park

The Mets and Nationals concluded their brief series at Shea last night, following a 10-8 affair with a 13-10 slugfest. The 41 combined runs was a record for a two game series in Queens, a fact that I made up and can't be bothered to verify. That's good math skills though, I did that in my head. Mike Pelfrey and Odalis Perez proved it is a bad idea to stay up all night drinking tequila lamenting why David Wright won't return their calls by giving up a combined 12 runs in 8 total innings of work. Amazingly, Pelfrey left the game after 5 innings in line for the victory before Aaron Heilman did what Aaron Heilman does and surrendered the lead on a 2 run homer. Fortunately, Saul Rivera and Joel Hanrahan are desparate to get out of Washington, and gave their best audition for slots in the Mets 2009 bullpen by surrendering 6 runs in the final two innings.

It is a little unfair to the Mets overworked bullpen that had been outstanding during the team's recent hot streak, but working with Oliver Perez and Pelfrey to surrender 18 runs to the Nationals is no small feat. The cellar dwellers from our nation's capital rank near the bottom in major league baseball in most offensive categories.

That was exciting

Getting into my car last night, I turned on the Mets game just in time to hear Carlos Delgado's second home run of the night, and the second home run in a row by a Mets player following Carlos Beltran's go-ahead shot. Joe Smith, Brian Stokes, and Luis Ayala kept the Nationals off the board, and the Mets held on for a come-from-ahead, come-from-behind victory. The bad news is Oliver Perez failed to hold leads of 2-0 and 5-2 against a light-hitting Nationals team. The good news is Delgado has had consecutive multi-homer games, and last night's gave him 7 for the year. That ties Delgado with Dave Kingman which gives me an opportunity to mention Kingman's nickname was (and possibly still is) Kong. How cool is that? Anyway, Delgado has been particularly unconscious the past couple of games, hitting 4 home runs that totaled about a third of a mile. Or maybe I'm unconscious. I punched myself in the head REALLY hard the other day. Whatever the cause, here's to hoping he doesn't wake up any time soon, because the Mets lead the Phillies by a mere 3 games in the loss column, and anything can happen over the last 3 weeks of the season.

It's on!

Following a tough 3 game series with the rival Phillies over the weekend, the Mets found themselves 2 games ahead (in the loss column) with 19 left to play. On the bright side, this guarantees there will be no collapse like last years, since it's the easiest thing in the world to blow a 2 game lead. Hell, I have every sort of faith they could do that in a weekend. What follows is 12 consecutive games against the Nationals and Braves, the bottom feeders of the NL East. Of course, it was the lowly teams last year that knocked the Mets out of first, so this is by no means a slam dunk for the season, especially with the Phillies having an easy road to the finish themselves.

On a sad note, it is time to retire my favorite, tag, possibly forever. Billy Wagner will undergo Tommy John surgery to repair his damaged elbow, and could well have thrown his last pitch for the Mets. Good luck to you in your recovery Mr. Wagner, you'll always be a motherfucker in my book.

This means the team must now turn to Luis Ayala for the closing duties. Ayala has pitched brilliantly for the team thus far, and we can only hope that his struggles earlier in the year can be attributed to the scientifically proven fact that donning a Washington Nationals jersey makes you suck at baseball. If Ayala fails, the closing duties turn to Brian Stokes, who failed spectacularly in the bullpen for Tampa last season, but everyone knows that was due to the presence of the word "Devil" in the team's name. Beyond Stokes the Mets would turn to a motley crew who have failed so spectacularly in the role so far this season. Looking on the bright side, the Mets suddenly anemic offense (outside of the mysteriously resurgent Carlos Delgado) would have to actually score enough runs to take the lead for the bullpen to blow it, so they have that going for them.

It's better to be lucky than good

Actually, that's bullshit. It's better to be lucky AND good, and the Mets seem to be pulling that off right now. Heading into a critical three game series against the hated Phillies, the Mets wrapped up a three game sweep in Milwaukee. The Brewers lead the National League wild card race largely on the strength of their dominant starting pitching. However CC Sabathia threw a one-hit shutout Sunday afternoon, meaning the Brewers ace A would not pitch against the Mets. On Monday, ace B Ben Sheets dominated the Mets for 5 innings before pulling himself from the game with a tweaked hair follicle, or something like that. The NL East leaders came from behind to win that game, won an extra-innings affair in the major league debut of John Niese the next night before finishing off the sweep in a dominating performance yesterday afternoon. Meanwhile, the rivals from Philadelphia ran into a suddenly and inexplicably hot Nationals team in Washington, dropping two of three. An unlikely three game sweep of the Phillies this weekend at Shea would put the Mets in prime position for another historic collapse.

Just close your eyes and swing

As Eric Gagne trotted in from the Brewers bullpen, I tried not to get too excited. On the one hand, at this point in his major league career I'm pretty sure Gagne could not get me out. On the other hand, I still have memories of an early April series between these two teams that saw Gagne earn two of his 10 saves this season. Things were different back then, right? There's no way Gagne could actually miss the bats of three consecutive hitters, could he? Daniel Murphy read the scouting reports, closed his eyes and laced a double to left-center field. David Wright outthought himself, tried to follow the path of the ball with his eyes and struck out. Carlos Delgado tried the same approach for two pitches before visibly saying to himself, "Fuck it, I'm going to close my eyes and swing." I mean, he presumably said it in Spanish, and I didn't actually see his lips move, but on the next pitch he crushed a go-ahead home run into the rightfield seats. The Mets would tack on another run and hold on for yet another come-from-behind victory.

In other news, hey Ed Rapuano...GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY! Now Beltran has a bruised knee that will probably be bothering him for the next few weeks of critical games. Thanks a lot. Dick.