Matt Cooke is a bitch

On Sunday I was jumping up and down hootin' and hollerin' about a Matt Cooke cheapshot on Alexander Ovechkin when it looked to me like Cooke clearly targeted Ovechkin's knee. In his next game Cooke earned himself a four-game suspension by hitting Columbus' Fedor Tyutin from behind and driving him into the boards.

As reported on Deadspin, Cooke has a long history of taking cheap shots at star players. The Deadspin clip is edited from a longer rant Don Cherry spewed after Cooke's blind side hit to Boston's Marc Savard. Savard suffered a major concussion as a result of the hit, the lingering effects of which continue to sideline Savard over a year later.

All of this is a setup of the video below which is a clear demonstration of why Cooke never picks on anyone his own size. He targets Evander Kane of the Atlanta Thrashers, a man named for Evander Holyfield who for one glorious moment lived up to his moniker.



Stick to the goal scorers Cookie, even though it is way more fun for the fans when you get knocked the fuck out.